We were very disappointed in the Boston Latin School alumni luncheon (9th) at Palm Beach’s Café Boulud. Because of a family death, the new Head Master was unable to be on hand, but the real dissatisfaction set in for a different reason. An alumni association spokesman, also an alumnus, droned on and on – followed by another almost as bad. Why is it that presenters who are not good speakers/preachers babble on endlessly?! Only truly gifted speakers (such as President John Sexton of New York University) should take more than ten minutes to deliver their addresses. The rest of us should face our limitations and say what we have to in a well-organized, succinct speech – or sermon.

Yet, the meal was excellent and our table of ten fascinating. On Bob’s right was an about-to-be 94 year-old alumnus from the Class of 1931. On Rich’s left a slightly younger alumnus at 89, a retired Boston lawyer, was with his wife of 14 years; he had been a widower at one point. In fact, other than three of us in our early 70s plus the convener in his late 50s, the men at our table had graduated from Boston Latin before we were born! [The Menu: “Roasted Natural Chicken, Super Green Spinach, Pearl Onion, Button Mushrooms, Natural Jus; Warm Upside Down Chocolate Soufflé, Pistachio Ice Cream”]

As the second speaker spoke off the cuff, we decided to leave as soon as he concluded. But a loyal, very wealthy, contributing alumnus and his wife-to-be-on-Monday did not wait and walked hurriedly from the room. A bit less speedily, we followed their lead. Outside, they vented, as did we, about the unreasonably dragged out gathering – which was far worse than preceding years. Perhaps the convener got the point and adjourned, for almost instantly others poured out.

Each year Rich has been tempted to lodge a constructive complaint; the attendance has dropped from about 100 to this luncheon’s 35! However, if they truly wanted feedback over these declining years, they would have easily asked for it via an e-mail form or the like. Too, at only $50 a head, the event probably ran a deficit, unless someone(s) is picking up the tab anonymously. We seriously doubt that we will attend next year.

SEXUAL ASSAULT VICTIM SUES EVERGLADES CLUB
By Susan Spencer-Wendel
Palm Beach Post Staff Writer
Wednesday, February 20, 2008

WEST PALM BEACH — A prominent civil litigator sued the Everglades Club this morning on behalf of a woman sexually assaulted there, claiming the secluded Palm Beach club provided inadequate security in failing to vet illegal alien employees and that its discrimination policies fomented an atmosphere of hostility ripe for rape.

Attorney Ted Babbitt filed suit on behalf OF Melissa Legare, a 22-year-old former kitchen employee of the club who says she awoke to a rapist atop her in her employee dorm room off Worth Avenue in April 2006. Legare identified a dishwasher, Guatemalan Esdras Cardona, as her attacker. Cardona was later convicted of the crime and sentenced to 20 years in prison.

At a press conference Wednesday morning, Babbitt said the elite Palm Beach club discriminates in both its membership polices and treatment of minority employees like Cardona.

The club does not allow blacks or Jews as members and doesn't allow women on its board of directors, he said. Additionally, the staff there segregates employees, whites in one building, Eastern Europeans in another, and "amigos" as Hispanics are known sequestered in a third, according to the lawsuit.

Dehumanizing people like that leads to hatred which then leads to violence like the rape upon Legare, Babbitt said.

"This suit will uncover what I think is a festering sore on Worth Avenue," Babbitt said. "This is a place which should not exist under its present circumstances."

Babbitt said the club has members like conservative commentator Rush Limbaugh and the family of sugar barons, the Fanjuls. But Barack Obama or Henry Kissinger, Tiger Woods or Venus Williams, would not be welcome there.

A phone message seeking comment from Everglades Club managers was not immediately returned.

Legare, present at the press conference, said she alerted management months before the crime that she caught Cardona and others peering through a window at her as she toweled off.

Legare, now a resident of Maine, then lived in an employee dormitory off Worth Avenue known as the "barracks."

That alleged peeping incident was not brought out at Cardona's sexual battery trial last summer.

Legare said Wednesday she is willing to come forward and be publicly identified as sexual assault victim in the hopes that something like this would not happen to anyone else.

susan-spencer-wendel@pbpost.com

A Year After Death, Lesbian Fights for Justice for Partner

Lambda Legal Advocates for Washington Woman Denied Visitation with Dying Partner in Florida Hospital.

(Miami, Florida, February 21, 2008) — “There is nothing that can make up for what my children and I endured that day,” said Lambda Legal client Janice Langbehn about the way she was treated on the day her partner, Lisa Pond, died. “We only want the hospital to take responsibility for how they treated us and ensure that it doesn’t happen to another family.”

On the one-year anniversary of Lisa Pond’s death, Lambda Legal announces its intent to file a lawsuit on behalf of Pond’s same-sex partner and family.

A year ago Janice Langbehn’s partner of nearly 18 years was pronounced brain dead after being stricken with a brain aneurysm. While at Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami, Florida, she was met with prejudice and apathy. Janice and her family were consistently denied visitation and didn’t see Lisa until many hours after she was admitted. Lambda Legal has officially sent a notice of intent to sue to the hospital on Janice’s behalf.

“The treatment that Janice and her children received was unethical and discriminatory,” said Beth Littrell, Staff Attorney for Lambda Legal. “This letter puts them on notice that we are advocating for justice for Janice and her children.”

While on a family cruise leaving from Miami Lisa Pond, a healthy 39 year-old, suddenly collapsed. She was rushed to Miami’s Jackson Memorial Hospital with her partner Janice and three children following close behind. There the hospital refused to accept information from Janice about her partner’s medical history. Janice was informed that she was in an antigay city and state, and she could expect to receive no information or acknowledgment as family. A doctor finally spoke with Janice telling her that there was no chance of recovery. Other than one five minute visit, which was orchestrated by a Catholic priest at Janice’s request to perform last rites, and despite the doctor’s acknowledgement that no medical reason existed to prevent visitation, neither Janice nor her children were allowed to see Lisa until nearly eight hours after their arrival. Soon after Lisa’s death, Janice tried to get her death certificate in order to get Life Insurance and Social Security benefits for their children. She was denied both by the State of Florida and the Dade County Medical Examiner.

In accordance with Florida law, Lambda Legal is waiting for the hospital to respond to the notice of intent to sue before formally filing a complaint with the court. The hospital has six months from January 14th, the date of Lambda Legal’s letter, to respond.

Beth Littrell, Staff Attorney in Lambda Legal’s Southern Regional Office in Atlanta is lead counsel on the case for Lambda Legal. She is joined by co-counsel Donald J. Hayden of Baker & McKenzie, LLP.

Canon Richard T. Nolan and Robert C. Pingpank have served as powerful witnesses to the dignity of GLBT persons for over 50 years. They actively and publicly support the ACLU's GLBT project, fighting discrimination and shaping popular opinion through the courts, legislatures and education. As an Episcopal priest, Canon Nolan led many within the Episcopal Church USA to support the ordination of gay and lesbian clergy and the blessing of same-sex unions. Locally, he is a Founding Board Member of the Pride Chamber of Commerce of the Palm Beaches and an advisor to The Hemlock Society of Florida. In 2004, the couple completed Soulmates: More Than Partners.

However, about 4 p.m. a shocked Rich discovered that Tenno (age 13; still naturally warm) had died suddenly in one of his favorite places in the family room; he summoned Bob, who was about to shower. Just a very short time earlier, Bob had taken both dogs out back to pee and then groomed them. Half-brothers, both had been having cardiac problems for a while, and Tenno apparently had a fatal heart attack. His position suggested that he had collapsed from a standing position. Nearby, we heard absolutely nothing. After telephoning the vet’s office, we bundled him in a towel and took him to Dr. Fox, who, with tender concern, confirmed his death. He has been Comes and Tenno’s doctor for all these years.

We kissed Tenno good-bye. Dr. Fox made arrangements via the Twin Oaks Pet Cemetery and Crematorium. [www.twin-oak.com/main.htm]

Naturally, at the time we were stunned, even though Tenno’s death was not entirely unexpected. Still, we have had tears out of the blue many times since. Bob was especially close to both dogs, because he has been their primary care giver.

Cardiac failure is a chief cause of death among Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, and their average life span is from 10 to 14 years. Because of Tenno and Comes’ advancing heart problems and need for routine shots, we were to be off to Dr. Fox two days later (4th). [See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cavalier_King_Charles_Spaniel]

As they aged, we had come to respect as well as love them and had often spoken of our hopes of sparing them chronic debilitating illness, pain, confusion and its side effects (e.g., fear) from medical exams, a multitude of medications, and/or invasive procedures – much as we hope for ourselves. Though we were certainly taken aback, Tenno died “peacefully,” and for that, we remain enormously grateful.

We will be paying special attention to Comes for the foreseeable future. Tenno’s absence has been very evident everyday from morning to night. A fourth of our familial household is no longer here, and the integration of our family life has been made more apparent by the void Tenno’s death has brought about.

We notified the Yale staff that we just could not be on hand for the Club Colette evening. We offered to cover whatever Colette charges to Yale were involved because of our absence. The Yale official with whom we communicated was most kindhearted and shared the recent loss of her dog.

Tenno’s death is a moving reminder of death’s consequences for humans and pets, including these issues: the limitations on our control of each day – challenging to those like ourselves who are reasonably well organized; an unending, specific void in the life of survivors; raising for reflection the various ways one might arrive at one’s own death; and - in the absence of clarity – the need to put “after-death” entirely in the hands of the Creator.

One might speculate about the nature of “afterwards,” but speculation it will always be. Anyone, whether clergy or laity, claiming definitive knowledge about “afterwards” is practicing “peasant religion.”

It is unfortunate that “getting into heaven” – or the like – continues to dominate the histories of so many individuals globally. Unfortunately, those caught in lives of quiet desperation (by their poor choices or as victims of circumstances beyond their control) tend to count on someday going to a “better place” or “being called home” in lieu of creating whatever is realistically possible for them here and now.

Many a culture continues to thrive on the “better place” expectation while they fail to implement effective policies, such as effective family planning, without which humans living within negligent cultures are fated to exist in a self-inflicted, or colonially imposed, “hell on earth.”

Nonetheless, it is inevitable that we are all going to die – perhaps, some would say, destined for non-conscious, painless oblivion. This faith-based possibility makes it all the more urgent for the development of wide-ranging policies that would provide opportunities for responsible “garden living” rather than inevitable “dumpster existence.”

Bishop Gene Robinson said in a sermon: “... more and more, I am convinced that the Christian life is not about life after death -- it's about life before death. What God does for us after death, God will take care of. But what we do with life before death is up to you and me. That's the real reward of Christianity, isn't it? Not so much life after death, but life before death. It's not an accident that in our confession now, and in the absolution which follows, we don't say ‘and may God bring you to everlasting life’, but keep you in everlasting life. It gets to start now...if we are awake. If we understand that in the doing of God's will, we already participate in everlasting life.” [http://realreligiousleft.blogspot.com/2007/07/bishop-gene-robinson-preaching-about.html]

With our own hope for a continuing, personal, conscious existence after our lives here are completed, we ourselves joined in everlasting love, we both believe that one’s focus ought to be on the gift of life already provided us. Living as well as we can now as God’s guests on this planet in a Covenant Community of the love of God, neighbor, and self, we choose to accept the entailed joys and responsibilities for, challenges to, and puzzlements about such living. For us, this pilgrimage carries a mandate for both self-care and enabling care of one’s willing and deserving, genuine neighbors. To us, this seems to be the purpose of, and meaning for, all human living – with the Serenity Prayer as an illuminating guideline.

The next day (Tuesday the 4th) involved especially difficult moments with a pervading sense of loss as we time and again recalled many moments with which Tenno had routinely brightened our home. We know that tears will continue now and then, perhaps indefinitely.

Furthermore, as perhaps mentioned before, we are not going to “replace” them, as if it were possible to substitute any other dog for either Tenno or Comes, each so unique. We have had our time and season for accompanying two exquisite dogs on their life journeys, and we are all the better for it. We are not addicted to dogs, but have loved those that have come into our lives.

Quite a scare occurred around 4 p.m., twenty-four hours after Tenno’s death. As Bob guided Comes toward the sliding glass door from a visit out back, Comes collapsed and fell over. Bob gently assisted him to an upright position and yelled for Rich. As he arrived and we both tried to comfort Comes, he let out a series of howling barks that suggested fear and/or pain of some sort. We really thought that he might be joining Tenno. However, he seemed to recover quite quickly, except for a too rapid, breathing/panting for a good part of the afternoon and evening. He was clearly disconcerted – whether over his own physical discomforts, or grieving for Tenno (he had the opportunity to visit Tenno’s motionless body during the short time before our discovery), or both; we just did not know, and this limitation on our understanding of his perceptions and needs was very frustrating.

At 9 the next morning we took Comes for his scheduled visit with Dr. Fox. Concerning Tenno’s death, the staff was most solicitous and especially inquiring about us and Comes’ well-being. After a cursory exam and a consultation with Dr. Fox about the previous afternoon’s scare, we left Comes in his care for a (EKG) cardiogram.

Before we headed for the car, the staff brought out an adorable, diminutive “Comes” for us to meet – a very young black and tan Cavalier there for spaying. Delightful, enough so that we felt the need to repeat aloud our resolve that we would not be inviting new pets into our family. The affection, respect and care they so rightly deserve will no longer be on our agenda, given our age and especially Rich’s unexpected medical emergencies. The staff also gave us Tenno’s paw print they made and we were to finish by baking; additionally a lovely sympathy card arrived with all of the staff’s signatures and some personal messages.

We are very appreciative of the many words of condolence expressed by mail and e-mail.

We human beings often overlook the reality that dogs are sentient creatures, that is, they have sense perceptions, are conscious, and have emotions. They are not like rocks or other things. Both of us have not yet considered the full implications of this factor for how some or all sentient creatures should be treated; it seems overwhelming. What our human stewardship of creation means as this major issue is considered seems to entail no less than a primary revolution in our global outlooks and practices.

After that, Rich slept deeply until 5 in the morning (8th) when he heard the click-click-click of four little feet on the kitchen floor. Given the diuretic purposes of the new medications, Rich took Comes out back – rear spotlights illuminating the outside area. Sure enough, (leashed) Comes peed, returned, and went back to sleep. That awful, hacking cough from his congestive heart failure showed itself briefly.

It came to Rich that there was an eerie similarity to the years when his late mother lived here, in the sense of an unwell individual needing a great deal of care residing with us.

Toward 6 a.m. the predicted weather front with rain and some thunder began – along with a tornado watch; it was good that Comes had already been out.

A Google News item (9th) included coverage about the approaching election of an Episcopal bishop. One representative commented to delegates and others on hand about the election process, "That continues today. Your questions and answers are an integral part of how God will appoint the 14th bishop of Maryland."

For heaven’s sake! How can anyone in the 21st century believe that the Creator of the universe(s) regularly “appoints” anyone to anything! Although God might have preferences, and even provide voters with a nudge in the right direction, the Lord of All is neither a control-freak nor an employment/vocational manager. (Our vocation – the Summary of the Law - is already inherent in our baptismal identity.)

Furthermore, given the dreadful track record of countless bishops and other clergy throughout history - if God were “appointing” such disasters, what would it say about the Creator’s wisdom?

So many clergy and lay people avoid human responsibilities by assigning human decision-making to God – in reality a “sanctification of their own desires” - as one wise priest observed! Religious groups that assent to these types of God-Who-Controls-Everything statements do not deserve to continue. One can understand why atheism, agnosticism, and deism emerged more openly in recent decades; excessive, irresponsible mush from religious groups is such that more and more thoughtful people are being alienated by many insulting beliefs and practices.

Comes had spent a very anxious afternoon (11th) but later slept until 6:30 a.m. (12th) when Rich took him out. During our breakfast he went to the sliding glass door and barked a few times – apparently a new behavior. Bob took him out again, and sure enough, he had needed to poop. Afterwards he seemed well and ready for another of his frequent naps.

As we were getting ourselves ready to attend the (12th) noon Lenten service at Bethesda, a call came from our vet; a cardiologist-vet was coming in to give echocardiograms. Bob left Comes there at 10 and returned for our 10:30 drive to the Palm Beach church. Because Bishop Gene Robinson was to preach, Rich was sure that we should be an hour early so that we could find a decent parking space (Bethesda has no more than 5 spaces and no parking lot) and secure a good seat right by the entrance (to leave unnoticed, if need be).

When we arrived and parked with no trouble, Rich had a snack in the car – for “insurance.” We had the church almost to ourselves until 11:30! As he was helping the ladies set up the altar, the rector Hap W. spied us and graciously welcomed us and chatted briefly. We very much appreciated Bethesda’s part-time associate Bob P. escorting Bishop Gene to our pew – where we briefly exchanged pleasantries.

Also before the Service began, a number of people recognized us and were most hospitable – although Rich squirmed uncomfortably at the attention under those circumstances. We were trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Even as we headed toward the altar rail for Communion, an aisle-seated, elderly woman whom we had not seen for nearly ten years greeted us with a tug at Rich’s jacket.

Size-wise, the congregation was respectable, but in no way near what Bishop Robinson’s presence warranted. However, it was a Wednesday.

In general, it was a fine liturgy. However, Rich despises the “traveling Peace” that, for us, interrupts the reverence of corporate worship and dumbs down dignified “Godward” devotion. A few individuals came to our pew, not so much to exchange the Peace, but to say “hello” – sometimes more! (Perhaps they somehow sensed that we would not be going to the “sacrificial” Lenten lunch afterwards in the parish hall!)

We drove right to the vet’s. Then a touch of sorrow set in as we entered our home while Comes scurried from room to room, most probably looking for Tenno. Later in the afternoon Dr. Fox reported that Comes’ heart disease was quite advanced. His walks with Bob are to be very brief.

While preparing to leave for a Tabor Academy luncheon (13th), the vet’s office staff telephoned that Tenno’s ashes had arrived. We decided to pick up the 6½” by 4½” wooden chest (below) on our return trip from lunch. That mission added such a dimension of finality!

On Holy Thursday morning (20th) we celebrated (as well as grieved with some tears afterwards) our Tenno. We were very touched to discover that Comes had joined us; he was lying upright on the tiled floor behind us, just to our right, aimed directly toward the table.

Now and then he continues to wander, as if looking for his life-long companion.

We are sure that Stephen’s quick visit brightened Comes’ day!

Bob did not recall attending Services on Holy Thursday during his youth, but Rich remembered fondly the annual evening Service that commemorated the institution of the “Lord’s Supper” or “Holy Communion.”

Many years later the inclusion of the very old rite of foot washing repelled him, not because it was “improper” or icky, but because he perceived it as counterfeit humility – just one more gratuitous item of priestcraft. His childhood rector (George O. Ekwall, who baptized and presented him for confirmation and ordinations to the diaconate and priesthood) once commented to him that over the centuries celibates had created a good deal of the ceremonial to help deal with their otherwise empty lives. Indeed! Today many clergy need a life beyond liturgies that are being created left and right for equally empty (or fanatical) laypeople.

In the current period much ceremonial may be linked to the growing desperate need of clergy to trumpet their imagined religious significance. Whether or not this has been the case historically, both of us are not much for dragged out, liturgical/ceremonial excess, regardless of its “rich symbolism.” So much of this frequent “self-punishing passion” is cultivated by the supposedly pious and the ecclesiastically entrenched. The reverential joy of the 1940s-50s Holy Thursday Service has been transformed to a subdued, ever dour, occasion justified by the “rich symbolism” rationale. As Canon Edward West remarked to Rich decades ago, “They (the liturgical experts) did not consult the people effectively as they ‘enriched’ our worship.” Rich suspects that liturgical terrorism has also played a part.

In any case, the ceremonial washing of the feet is only a side option for Thursday’s observance. The Book of Common Prayer notes ever so briefly, “When observed, the ceremony of the washing of the feet appropriately follows the Gospel and homily.” (p. 274) Its details are spelled out in a separate collection entitled “The Book of Occasional Services,” the preface of which says of its entire contents, "None of it is required, and no congregation is likely to make use of all of it." Unfortunately for us, we are unaware of any Episcopal Church in our region that omits it and focuses on the commemoration of the Jerusalem origin of the Eucharist.

Perhaps next year we shall celebrate a straightforward, commemorative Holy Thursday Service at home - around the table, quietly, to the point, and free of magical and aesthetic pretensions. [www.philosophy-religion.org/catechism/unit9.htm]

The Prayer Book Service suggested for Good Friday is one that Rich gladly conducted in his small, rural Connecticut parish for almost fourteen years. Many people worked during the day, so the Service was scheduled in the early evening and was no more than 45 minutes long. He has participated in 3-hour Services here in Florida, beginning at noon. Only a few attend, though at one area parish an orchestra and professional vocalists were hired; free entertainment does draw more of a crowd. This year’s newspaper notices included: Noon to 3 p.m. - Good Friday liturgy with meditations by (parish) clergy; John Rutter's Requiem with chamber orchestra. This type of observance is provided by many society and otherwise large churches.

In a recent Good Friday sermon at St. Andrew’s, Rich commented: “Because Good Friday, like every other day for Christians, is observed within the context of the Christ’s Resurrection, this need not be a day of total gloom or contrived sadness. Rather, it is a day of amazement, of wonder, and of extreme realities. Good Friday acknowledges in Jesus Christ that the depths of human anguish are bound firmly to a trust in the one God who delivers ultimate victories. Psalm 22 has sometimes been referred to as the ‘Psalm of Christ.’ As well, this soulful prayer is appropriate for his disciples, for you and me – even though we shall not come close to the extremes lived by Jesus.” Rich was on hand only for the section of the Service during which he was to preach.

This year we remained at home. The “contrived gloom” and hired entertainment options are unappealing, in fact, alienating. We have little hope that a simpler church-based liturgy will surface in our region. We wonder whether the northeast has obliterated diversity among Episcopal congregations, too. If so, what a loss to many people for the sake of theatre!

By the way, every parish clergyperson should be required to master Elements of Rite: A Handbook of Liturgical Style by the late Fr. Aidan Kavanagh, sometime professor of liturgics at Yale Divinity School as well as monk and priest of the Roman Catholic Archabbey of St. Meinrad in Indiana.

Sunday morning’s “Meet The Press” spent some time with two expert economists in a discussion of the current recession (not their label). One commented that the basic factor in the development of today’s “slow” economy is the “extremely tight credit environment.” Wrong! The basic factor is that in the United States (and elsewhere) “greed is good” and one is entitled to be greedy without any negative impact.

In connection with the murder/suicide of the owner of Roosters, a West Palm Beach gay bar, your coverage has repeatedly referred to "the gay community."

We occasionally hear "the black community," and so on, too.

The dangers of "the gay community" is an unintentional stereotyping of all people who are gay, such that we're all alike and we all somehow know or associate with each other.

This is absolutely untrue. Just as it would make no sense to refer to "the straight community" (among whom there is incredible diversity at all levels of living), "the gay community" makes little sense, either; there is incredible diversity at all levels of life among gay men and women.

"Among many/some gay people," or the like, would make more sense when gay-related reports are provided.
My partner and I are 71; we've been a couple since we were 18 - as college freshmen. I'm a retired Episcopal priest/college professor; my partner is a retired secondary school math teacher/administrator. We have many associations/communities, none of which defines us.

Very often when there is a news report on "the gay community," it has absolutely nothing to do with us or any of our many friends and associations. Sometimes the reports do relate.

I think that it would be helpful if your news writers found different ways of conveying information about some gay, some black, and some whatevers rather than "the -- community." Such reports would not only be more truthful, but also would not misrepresent or trivialize anyone.

The station’s response:
Richard, thanks for the email and feedback. You make several valid points. I plan to share your email with our producers and reporters.
Peter R.
____________________
WPTV Director of News
and Broadcast Operations
Florida's Top-Rated TV Station

During the evening (25th), while we watched television in the east bedroom, Comes barked (repeatedly but not rapidly) from his new “den” just outside the bedroom; he was aimed toward the west side of the house. Again he must have been calling for Tenno; this was his latest, persistent behavior. We realized more fully that no matter how much genuine affection we show him, we cannot be a substitute for his half-brother with whom he had spent almost every day of his life. The realization clicked in that just as a beloved human cannot fill the specific void in a dog’s life, a beloved dog cannot fill a particular emptiness in a human’s life. We might be able to be companions along the way at a significant but not identical level. We shall miss Tenno differently from the way Comes does; they were each other’s most significant other, the closest of brothers. After we finished watching DVDs, Bob kept Comes in the large east bedroom with the door closed. That seemed to work for everybody.

Comes’ first monthly shower (26th; given by Bob in our walk-in shower stall) without Tenno was uneventful, but he had the best day yet with reasonable, periodic friskiness. However, the next morning, after his breakfast, Comes seemed to be looking, even barking a few times, for Tenno. He stood in a few places and just looked straight ahead – for example, toward our front entryway’s open, screened doorway and the like. No one was out there or passing by, but Comes keeps hoping, it seems. Bob took him on his daily, short, morning walk, and afterwards Comes slept more than usual.

When we arrived home from church, Comes greeted us friskily. When it was time for us to watch a DVD, he warily, and with help, climbed his miniature staircase to join us on the king size bed. For the first time ever, when a dog showed up on the screen, he barked at it until it quickly disappeared. Tenno barked at every creature he saw on tv, but Comes, never until that moment. Given this new behavior, we wondered whether he was looking for Tenno or a canine companion.

An occasional reminder of the purpose of this journal/series of letters is appropriate. Within boxes, brackets, and/or with colored backgrounds, our reflections are included as a chronological supplement to our online biography Soul Mates: More Than Partners. The purpose of this extended account is to provide further insights about one gay couple who have been together for fifty-three years (as of September 2008) – what some of our thoughts are, and how we spend our time.

We are among the many same-sex couples who live in rather ordinary ways from day to day. We hope to add to whatever other portrayals, too often bizarre, of gay men that readers might have. Our entire Scrapbook website is intended as a “time capsule” of sorts.

We also want to reiterate, as stated in our “Introduction” to Soul Mates, “In the 1980s the late Miriam Anne Bourne completed a draft of a rather controversial book for those days entitled Listening: A Skeptical Woman Hears A Gay Priest Tell His Story.” However, as the account has evolved into a retitled biography/autobiography appended by these letters/ journal, Bob’s involvement has developed substantially. Every word of Soul Mates and our letters/journal is jointly scrutinized in draft form. The resulting texts are definitely coauthored.

“April 2, 2008 The Synod of the Church of Wales fell short of the decision to ordain women to the episcopate. The vote in the clerical order was three votes short of the two-thirds majority required for passage.”

The Office of Bishop has significant functions, but it is neither more holy nor more graceful, or indispensible – as many non-episcopal Christian Churches know well. The overseering/leadership functions of the episcopate can be manifested in other ways.

However, as an order of ministry, the bishops as a guild can take partial responsibility, together with reverential and sycophantic episcophiles, for the episcopacy’s elevation into some sort of demiurgeous species. Other than misogyny and/or desperation to preserve the past, there is no reason whatsoever for closing any order or office of ministry for reasons of gender – with the exception of nuns and monks – in many/most contemporary cultures.

As we have noted at other times, this ridiculous loftiness goes hand in hand with the imposition of “superior” moral codes onto bishops, while mere priests, deacons, and the laity are bound only to “lesser” standards. Case in point: hold all of us to the same scrutiny and accountability as Bishop V. Gene Robinson.

In the mail (3rd) the annual royalty check arrived from Oxford University Press, the 28th Rich has received for his coauthorship of Living Issues In Philosophy in its 7th (1979), 8th (1986), and 9th (1995) editions. First published in 1946 by the late Harold H. Titus, the internationally adopted text is currently in its 14th printing of the 9th edition. Amazingly, the title sold better in 2007 than in the past few years! (The other coauthor Marilyn S. Smith died in 2006.)

Via a Google search of the 1984 Indonesian translation entitled PERSOALAN-PERSOALAN FILSAFAT, we discovered that it is still available. Over the years Rich has joked that he is clueless concerning the accuracy of the translations of the philosophy text and of the ethics text (the latter into Chinese)!

Rich’s other titles The Diaconate Now (his first book) published in 1968 is now available online, as is Living Issues In Ethics (1982, 2000; also in print from IUniverse). Very gratifying professionally! Again though, the translation of two chapters of The Diaconate Now into Russian is equally unapproachable!

Palm Beach Post   Friday, April 04, 2008

The Rev. Paul A. Rasmus will be instituted as rector at 5 p.m. Sunday at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 100 N. Palmway, Lake Worth. The ceremony will be conducted by the Venerable Thomas A. Bruttell, archdeacon for clergy deployment for the Episcopal Diocese of Southeast Florida. Call (561) 582-6609.

Rasmus came to St. Andrew's Parish as part-time interim pastor in January 2006. Most recently, he served as rector of St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Key West. He was ordained a priest in October 1977 and earned a master of divinity degree at the University of the South in Sewanee, Tenn. He is a graduate of Florida International University.

The Church was full, and spirits were high. An Anglo-Catholic ceremonial, to be sure, in keeping with the Diocese of Southeast Florida and elsewhere. The match between St. Andrew’s and Fr. Paul is excellent. Our rector is the right person at the right time, a man with a wealth of experience and wisdom. We both respect him highly.

Clergy and others were very welcoming to Rich as they gathered informally before the Service. Nonetheless, we again experienced a disconnection. During the service we felt bounced a number of times from the dignified rite of the Prayer Book with well-led music to several efforts at casual “humor” – as if the congregation could not possibly sustain reverence for an hour and a quarter. The sanctus bells signaled the sort of beliefs we have never held, though many Episcopalians apparently do. At least there was no incense, which, when used, is very hard for people with allergies or those who have an aversion to smoke.

Preached by a visiting cleric, the sermon not only injected too much supposed humor and unrefined grammar, but also could have been delivered almost word-for-word to any secular gathering designed for overcoming loneliness and providing a “home” of sorts. We are not lonely (though many attending probably were), and we have our home together. In a church we seek some friends and a particular kind of community – one that nurtures the heart and mind in matters unique to the Christian faith as it relates to daily living. We also enjoy other communities.

We left the delightful parish hall reception as soon as some pleasantries were exchanged. A rainstorm was about to become severe, and Rich had been fortified only by a small can of juice just before the service. It was a lovely time, but brought forward again to us the reality that the Episcopal Church here lacks the “low church” option we would very much prefer.

Comes is on a sad plateau. Symptoms of congestive heart disease are very evident, though he has a good appetite and moments of playfulness. He sleeps ever so much! In addition, at times, such as rising from a nap, he appears confused and befuddled. Moreover, he still occasionally looks around, as if he is hoping to find Tenno. Additionally, when he is lying down with his head up to see what is going on, there is a almost imperceptible shaking of his head, like a touch of Parkinson’s. We do hope that nature will spare him further deterioration.

At one point on the 11th, Comes became so full of life that he went on a puppy-like run inside the house. Suddenly, Bob saw him flop over; Rich was on the scene immediately. After lying there for a minute or so with his wolf-like bark/howling, he got up and walked around with the heavy panting that has become so familiar. We just do not know whether he is frightened and/or in pain when these spells occur. So very sad!

Bob attended Integrity (12th) at St. Andrew’s with about 50 others. Fr. Paul assured Rich via Bob that he is certainly welcome, even though for health reasons he might choose not to participate as a priest in the Service. In response, Bob explained to Fr. Paul that the time involved for the Service plus Integrity (all in all, about 2½ hrs.) is normally too much for Rich.

That is true, but also Rich simply cannot endure what to him is the raucous, traveling Peace that now aggressively violates the spirit of reverential worship; there are a few other bits, too. This may be a generational difference; Rich realizes sadly that the majority there and elsewhere apparently prefers to worship in that style that tries to blend casual informality with more formal dignity. Nevertheless, Bob assisted with the offering and enjoyed himself. Rich is more than pleased that Bob attends without him; he remained home engaged in all sorts of odds and ends (while keeping Comes content), and all was well.

In The Florida Times-Union (13th) an article “22 Episcopal clergy deposed” included these excerpted comments:

A Jacksonville bishop has sacked 19 priests and three deacons from his Northeast Florida diocese, saying they abandoned the Episcopal Church by joining or starting parishes aligned with theologically conservative bishops in places as far away as Africa and South America.

The network is aware of at least 90 priests who have been inhibited or deposed since 2003, he said, but there may be others. Conservatives say they are not homophobic, but are concerned about what they see as the Episcopal Church's increasingly liberal theological and social policies, including tolerating the performance of same-sex blessings in some dioceses. More than 200 Anglican parishes have been founded in the United States since 2003, with most of those being former Episcopal congregations.

Rich had no reply to his note written to three newspaper staff members (including the article’s writer):

I read the “22 Episcopal clergy deposed” piece, as a result of my automated Google News set for "episcopal."

Some statistics would have provided a greater context for your information.

"The network is aware of at least 90 priests who have been inhibited or deposed since 2003, he said, but there may be others." ---- out of 5467 clergy = 1.6%

"More than 200 Anglican parishes have been founded in the United States since 2003, with most of those being former Episcopal congregations." ---- out of 4100 congregations = 4.8%
See www.episcopalchurch.org/research_51538_ENG_HTM.htm.

“Anglican covenant conference draws international group, elicits varied viewpoints
From Canon Richard T. Nolan • West Palm Beach, Florida Apr 17, 2008 Not a covenant as being discussed, but I do wish that most doctrinal and moral matters could be set forth honestly by the Anglican Communion. Currently it is all a hodgepodge, often private, and too often irrationally and publicly shouted by devotees on all sides of an issue when a nerve is hit. I would first welcome an "Anglican epistemology" clarified (What are the sources of theological/moral knowledge? What is the nature of theological/moral knowledge? How does one test/validate theological/moral knowledge?). Then, we need several, revisable volumes that would spell out our varied Anglican approaches to Scripture, various creedal doctrines (e.g., various scholarly interpretations of the Virgin Birth that are within the Anglican ballpark), and various scholarly interpretations of moral issues (e.g., abortion, sexuality, and so on). It would take several decades to produce a first edition, but if it were in the works at a reasonable pace, strident voices and hardened hearts might soften. A sad thing about the current debacle is that most all care in one way or another about their Churches/Provinces and the Communion.”

A new Comes moment (17th) - In a notable departure from his morning visit to the back yard, not only did Comes take more time than usual to poop and to do so in apparent stages in quite an arc at the end of the long leash, but also when Rich and he reentered the house, he walked directly to Bob (who was still asleep in the east bedroom). Normally, Comes would stop on the family room rug, roll around playfully while rubbing his face over the soft rug, and then await breakfast. Finding his caregiver still sleeping, he returned to the kitchen.

Suspicious at the different routine, Rich took a paper towel and checked Comes’ butt area. Sure enough – a few small, hard stools were bound up in the region’s long hair, and Comes knew that Bob was the one who could take care of this situation. Rich awoke Bob, who straightaway met Comes’ hygienic needs. Both humans marveled at their canine’s correct intuition in such a circumstance!

Comes provided another “first” (19th) soon after his breakfast by entering the darkened east bedroom where Bob was asleep and then by barking unhurriedly but resolutely. Bob awoke and discovered that Comes was looking down the bedroom’s hallway that connects with its bathroom. Bob’s sense was that he was again looking for Tenno. As Rich arrived to see what was going on, Bob had already begun to comfort Comes.

Palm Beach Post (18th re the 19th): “Spiritual forum, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Saturday, St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 100 N. Palmway, Lake Worth. Topic: "Varieties of Atheism." Discussion will be led by the Rev. Canon Richard T. Nolan. The forum will be preceded at 6 p.m. by a service of evening prayer, with Holy Communion from the reserved sacrament and the optional laying-on-of-hands. Call (561) 582-6609.” The service and forum were scheduled for Saturday the 19th.

The Service went well, despite our apprehension; Rich’s glucose was at 199 at 4:30 – a half hour before we were to leave for church, and that is high enough to affect him somewhat. Was the count on the way up, or might it plunge? We could not know in advance, so we took along the glucose-monitoring device – just in case. At least we might be able to determine the difficulty, if Rich could not continue. As usual, Bob vested for the Service to assist and be close at hand; Margot officiated for the Evening Prayer portion, and all was o.k.

Something stunk in the parish hall; consequently the dozen of us remaining for the forum stayed in the church. Bob furnished Rich with a center aisle chair, and a lively discussion followed. Although a small number (though just right for a seminar) we realized afterwards that among the participants were the familiar faces of a retired literature professor-university provost; retired pentagon official; newspaper writer; retired mathematics teacher/administrator (Bob); retired valet to King George VI; musician/development director of a professional musical ensemble; a talented upholsterer; and a very bright couple we see only occasionally. How’s that for the makings of a diverse, very able group?!

David Brooks is correct that Barack Obama has fallen to earth, and he accurately identifies some of the reasons. Mr. Obama has also fallen because the political and electoral system has overpowered even this enormously thoughtful and fundamentally good man.

It’s not simply the failures of Mr. Obama. Circumstances do influence events. It’s the overwhelming power (and failure) of the system as well.

Campaigns are agonizingly long. So candidates do err. The campaign system operates in a “gotcha” and not truly substantive mode. The candidates and the media simplify and exaggerate, and then both obsess and repeat ad nauseam the error or flaw they’ve discovered (created, in part).

I have doubted from the start of the campaign that anyone even as gifted as Barack Obama could overcome the power of the system and fundamentally change how campaigns, the media, money and (ultimately) Washington operate.

New York Times: April 23rd, 2008
To be sure, Senator Clinton would be a far better president than the Republican’s best offer. Nonetheless, she does have that Washington spinning quality which envelopes her with an aura of distrust; she just doesn’t seem forthright. Moreover, her style of intoning many of her statements - along with that down-pointed, wagging “teacher’s finger” - adds to an unpleasant presence. Senator Obama, whose policies are not grossly incompatible with his Democratic opponent’s, does have a presence that conveys “what you see is what you get” plus the freshness and hopefulness so many of us would welcome with open arms. May he prevail - despite Pennsylvania! — Posted by Richard T. Nolan

It is unusual for Bob to feel poorly - as he did during Thursday (24th) afternoon through Friday evening. We had the same food, but something hit him that resulted in nauseous feelings, repeated intestinal disturbances, and a slight temperature. After a restless night, he felt much better in the morning – but not tops. Not until Sunday was he really feeling well – except for some familiar back pain that started during breakfast and was a nuisance for a week.

Continuing bad news about Florida (25th): “The finances of many states have deteriorated so badly that they appear to be in a recession, regardless of whether that's true for the nation as a whole, a survey of all 50 state fiscal directors concludes. The situation looks even worse for the fiscal year that begins July 1 in most states. Florida is singled out as one of three states with the worst budget difficulties.” (Ch. 5, local NBC-TV)

With very conservative investments, our home paid for, and our State of Connecticut pension benefits (including annual cost-of-living increases and excellent medical coverage), we are generally untouched by fluctuations in the economy. With new legislation, our retirement benefits could, in theory, be changed, but the odds are 99.999% against that ever happening; the state unions (collective bargaining is mandated by law in CT) are powerful. By our choices and planning, becoming wealthy (or living as if we were) has never been a motivation for us. Nonetheless, we do live more comfortably than we ever anticipated as young men starting out in our career paths. We know that our parents would be pleasantly shocked by our level of comfort.

Rich picked up his annual, Medicare-provided, diabetic shoes (25th). They are rather expensive, more than he would ordinarily pay for footwear – but important persons apparently manipulated that provision through Congress years ago. He orders them through his podiatrist – whom he visits every two months for Medicare-provided diabetic foot care. Medicare also covers fully his glucose testing equipment. We have wondered whether other maladies are as well covered.

Our dreams are, for the most part, absurd! Rich had a new one (26th-27th) rather than his frequent, sometimes complex, church or school related themes. He was sworn in as a lieutenant in the United States Air Force; he was not clear whether he was a first or second lieutenant! Then he was characteristically busy sorting all the new, related paperwork into manila file folders while his parents chatted with unidentified friends in an uncertain home setting. They were all awaiting arrival of Russ and Mimi Bourne (the initial author of Soul Mates), and then Rich woke up at 4:30 – a usual rising time! Rich has never served in the armed forces; his parents and Mimi have been dead for years, and he is uncertain about Russ. What on earth gives rise to such a (not unpleasant) dream?!

Bob also has absurd dreams. Many times they involve such unrelated people, places and situations that it is impossible to recall all the ridiculous content upon waking. There is, however, one recurring theme that can be related to his career. Even after more than thirteen years in retirement, school related dreams occur. Several times per year he clearly dreams that grade reporting time is due and he has forgotten to give any quizzes or tests on which to base student grades. He decides he will simply have to fabricate grades and hope no one questions them. Though it never happened that way in 35 years of teaching, the dreams are probably related to the fact that grading in schools is really quite arbitrary.

After a fairly short time with us on the bed as we watched tv (27th), around 9:30 p.m. Comes, somewhat anxious, jumped to the floor and left the room. We heard steady barking, so Rich looked down the hallway and saw Comes, still barking, check the west bedroom and Rich’s study. He was again looking for Tenno. Without a fuss, he returned to the east bedroom foyer and lay down. Although he has had his lighthearted moments, his grief induces a seemingly depressed state much of the time. We realized that he would probably remain on that plateau as his heart disease progressed. Surely the quality of his life was never so low.

We came across this short article about grieving dogs: www.philosophy-religion.org/dogs/pdfs/dogs-mourn.pdf
(It is definitely virus free, in that it connects with an article already on our academic website.)

As usual right after his periodical, 3-month, morning appointment (28th) with the urologist, Bob telephoned Rich. His PSA was slightly above the normal range again – the same score as six years ago; it has been much higher and more recently within the normal range. For over ten years he has lived with this condition – with several negative biopsies. Fortunately, the older a man becomes, the less likely that a discovered cancer requiring a major intervention is necessary. Nevertheless, it is an ongoing concern for us both, and Bob is not that old, yet.

During Comes’ good times, as when the above pictures were taken, we are still aware of his precarious health. Reinforcing that concern, early the next morning (29th), after a trip to the back yard, he had another spell. Before Comes’ breakfast, Rich was watching him in the family room, and suddenly Comes went over on his side, eyes open. Rich immediately took the few steps to reach him, knelt beside him, and said a brief prayer quietly in a low voice - while gently stroking his back. As before, within a minute Comes’ head popped up, and after laying there for just a couple of minutes, was up and ready for his breakfast. Whenever these spells occur, we wonder whether this is "it." We think that we are as prepared for his passing as anyone could be.

It is nice to have the time to sound off (responsibly).

www.getreligion.org

On Monday (28th) a “Get Religion” writer reported on the terrific piece “Young, Gay, and Married” in last Sunday’s New York Times. There were several comments posted, Rich’s being the eighteenth:
“Richard T. Nolan says: I’m hopeful that the TIMES will encourage a follow-up among older gay couples who have been together for several decades. At 71, both “cradle” Episcopalians and one of us a retired clergyman, we’ll celebrate 53 years in September. Such a follow-up might correct the impression that same-sex commitments cannot last. Unfortunately, though, most long-term couples we’ve met are carrying baggage that keeps them closeted, a habit more than a necessity.”

It is a shame that Rev. Wright is fast losing any positive reputation for being a credible, prophetic minister who points to the gulf between God’s purposes and many societal idolatries. It is beginning to appear that he just loves the limelight, regardless of the consequences inflicted on his former parishioner Barack Obama. Some clergy do sell out to the seductive though remote possibility of becoming a celebrity via ill-timed, intemperate outspokenness. His “15 minutes of infamy” will cast him into the shadows of being a wannabe star who is stuck in the 1960s rather than an effective prophet who can see beyond his own narcissism.

Becky and Joe W. of CT joined us in our home and then for luncheon at the Breakers – in celebration (a week or so early) of Joe’s 70th birthday. They drove from Cocoa Beach, where they have a vacation condo. Joe and Bob spent their childhood together as CT neighbors; after graduating from high school together (both members of the National Honor Society), they were joined by Rich as freshmen at Trinity College, Hartford.

MAY

We very much enjoyed a terrific 6 p.m. Compass gathering (2nd) of about 80 people of many circumstances in the exquisite Palm Beach home of Jim T. and Mark B. Afterwards, on impulse during our drive home, we briefly visited “Roosters.”

For the first time, Rich met a few of Bob’s bar acquaintances from his occasional Sunday evening outings. About 30 men, mostly in their 40s and older, sat around the large, rectangular bar. Some were clearly alone and lonely. One fellow, probably in his late 50s, at Rich’s left seemed to be very much by himself, so Rich tried to engage him in pleasantries. While somewhat responsive and very polite, he appeared to be extremely reserved. Probably he was some woman’s husband of many years, even a grandfather, who wrestles with his tragic mistake and thinks he is too late to develop an authentic life. Given all of his actual circumstances, he might be correct! As we arrived home just before 9 p.m., Rich “crashed” and was sound asleep within minutes!

HAPPY 13^th BIRTHDAY TO COMES!
May 3, 2008

Comes’ 13th birthday was certainly not his happiest. His Tenno is sadly missing, and he is not feeling his best healthwise. We think that this shows in his expression in the above photo.

our first-in-decades homemade Betty Crocker Devil’s Food Cake (Mix) with Duncan Hines Whipped Easy-Spread Chocolate frosting! (4th)

Luncheon guests in our home Margot E., John R., and Herb S. provided three hours of great conversation and fellowship (6th).

A few days later: a spontaneous buffet luncheon at the Hilton was most enjoyable.

Although we tried to contain Comes gently, he was so excited by our return that he had a longer than usual spell, but bounced back within minutes.

Prior to 1994 Rich was a member of the national Hemlock Society for many years.

a late morning accident in the westward lane of Forest Hill Blvd, just outside our River Bridge community
And, this was no longer the Southeast Florida “Season!” Such accidents are so common that they are not reported in the newspaper.

Having been successful at getting some treats handed to him during Sunday (11th) luncheon, Comes decided to pose from his spot beside the table! (The flooring does have a slight green tint.)

Advocate.com Poll (12th) – The Advocate is a national GLBT weekly newspaper also online with updates on a daily basis.

Results for the following question: Do you still practice the same religion your family did when you were growing up?

Yes
22%
No
78%
Total Votes: 754

Richard T. Nolan
Both age 71, my partner of 52 years and I are New England "cradle Episcopalians" - by choice, not habit. Although we dislike the current liturgical/ceremonial excesses and New Agey elements that have squeezed out simpler forms of worship and parish life, we continue to worship regularly during these retirement years in a very gay-friendly church in Lake Worth, Florida. Our parents, who had excellent marriages, included my Roman Catholic father - the other three being Episcopalians. My health being iffy at this point, we have already filed our funeral services with our FL parish. By the way, we are especially proud of the Episcopal Church's evolution on gay issues.

The hatred toward religion in general or a particular tradition dominated the above reported responses. Of course, there is the usual empty-headed “I am now ‘spiritual’” blather.

Clearly it will take at least decades for most GLBT people to consider becoming active participants in mainstream Christian Churches, sources of their persecution and of theological-philosophical oddities for centuries. Trust and credibility are major issues.

One wonders how these percentages compare to the population at large. In any case, until the Churches restate major doctrines now laden with, and distorted by, 4th century Greek-types of philosophy (e.g., the Trinity, grace, sin, Christ, atonement, etc.), people thinking in a 21st century context might find inviting only various peasant-level, customary rites of passage. (See the entry for May 24 for an example of “peasant religion.”)

After an early morning (14th) blood test at LabCorp, Rich read a different but relevant warning implying the need to rethink Christian doctrine; in the online New York Times in “The Neural Buddhists” (by David Brooks)

In their arguments with Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins, the faithful have been defending the existence of God. That was the easy debate. The real challenge is going to come from people who feel the existence of the sacred, but who think that particular religions are just cultural artifacts built on top of universal human traits. It’s going to come from scientists whose belief overlap a bit with Buddhism.

In unexpected ways, science and mysticism are joining hands and reinforcing each other. That’s bound to lead to new movements that emphasize self-transcendence but put little stock in divine law or revelation. Orthodox believers are going to have to defend particular doctrines and particular biblical teachings. They’re going to have to defend the idea of a personal God, and explain why specific theologies are true guides for behavior day to day. ... We’re in the middle of a scientific revolution. It’s going to have big cultural effects.

The Times writer did not even consider the significance of the Resurrection of Christ as an historical event, an act of God, but many “sophisticated” clergy and biblical scholars don’t these days, either.

Received on the 14th:

NEWS FROM HARTFORD SEMINARY • APRIL 2008 • VOL. XX • NO. 1

Canon Richard T. Nolan, '63 M.Div. and former faculty member, recently shared that he and his life partner, Robert C. Pingpank, received a Certificate of Appreciation from The Palm Beach County Chapter of the ACLU of Florida for "Exceptional Leadership and Devoted Community Service." The award was given at the ACLU's Annual Freedom Award Luncheon on February 24, 2008. Nolan and Pingpank have "served as powerful witnesses to the dignity of GLBT persons for over 50 years. They actively and publicly support the ACLU's GLBT project, fighting discrimination and shaping popular opinion through the courts, legislatures and education. As an Episcopal priest, Canon Nolan led many within the Episcopal Church USA to support the ordination of gay and lesbian clergy and the blessing of same-sex unions. Locally, he is a Founding Board Member of the Pride Chamber of Commerce of the Palm Beaches and an advisor to The Hemlock Society of Florida."

A surprise (16th)! Although the medication has helped Rich’s glaucoma a bit, he was told that it is necessary to continue it permanently in both eyes. He was startled to learn that the medication could have the side effect of changing his eye color from blue to brown. He was somewhat disappointed and reflected on his lack of indifference to the coming change. His paternal grandfather, his father, and he have had the same blue color. At the drugstore the pharmacist confirmed the likelihood of the side effect, and she added, “And, your eyes are such a beautiful blue!” Oh, well, in the scheme of things, it is very minor – at most an issue of self- recognition and vanity.

Our housekeeper told us (17th) that she spotted Comes sitting in the living room (Comes’ view below) while staring at the large 1996 photograph of Tenno and himself. This is rather remarkable, because Comes has generally been indifferent to mirrors and pictures – even most images on television. He continues to long for his companion in such human-like ways

Palm Beach Post - Understanding Christianity' forum, approximately 6:30 p.m. Saturday, St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 100 N. Palmway, Lake Worth. The Rev. Paul A. Rasmus, rector, will lead a discussion of "Risking Interventions in Someone's Life." The forum will be preceded at 6 p.m. by a service of evening prayer, with Communion from the reserved sacrament and optional laying-on-of-hands for healing. Call (561) 582-6609.

Fr. Paul chose to sit in the congregation during the Service and afterwards led an excellent forum for the fourteen in attendance. He pointed out that all addictions (whether to substances, to other people, work, to “doing good,” etc.) are spiritual idolatries, regardless of their personal origins. He also described the intervention processes for substance abuse – especially alcohol. Paul cited the need for self-care on the part of all individuals, so that their well-being is given due attention.

Rich mentioned that the Church needs to find ways of addressing or intervening among churchfolks addicted to “doing good.” We tend to praise all “doing good” activities, even when they appear obsessive and damaging to the do-gooder’s familial and other relationships; “good works junkies” might need interventions of some sort, too. “Rescuers” are but one example of such addicts.

For much of Sunday afternoon (18th) Danielle and Matthew K. shared lunch and conversation in our home. The president of Trinity College had introduced us a few months ago at the annual Palm Beach gathering of alumni. Like us, they have been together since their first year at Trinity; they are now age 25. They will soon be off to Virginia Seminary and, for Danielle, a neighboring college of graphic design to complete her own graduate studies. What an absolutely delightful couple! I hope that we will be able to keep in touch. Rich showed Matthew his newish set of (traditional) liturgical stoles and offered them to him when he is set for ordination. (Rich would be nearing 75 and probably have less use for his own set of stoles. Having Matthew take them would mean a lot to us.) They both have a bright personal and professional life ahead!

We are astounded that Senator Obama has been criticized for his poise and overall excellence. Yet, it is part of the contemporary American tendency to embrace the lowest common (i.e., the “Bubba factor”) denominator as the cultural standard - in the name of democracy, inclusivity, and magnanimity. We are mindful of the significant book written several years ago Resentment Against Achievement. Bubba may indeed be a Saint and an excellent citizen, but to require candidates for national political leadership to trumpet “Bubbaness” is ridiculous. Not everyone is fit for all roles in all vocations.

Should Obama be accused of elitism because he worked his way “up” and graduated from Columbia University and Harvard Law School? Should he be trivialized because he does not adjust his “accent” to every assembly he addresses? As noted in an article on FINDLAW, “Ironically, in this context, is the fact that the word "elite" comes from the Latin word eligere – meaning ‘to elect.’ To paraphrase typical dictionary definitions, the elite are considered the best, the wealthiest, the select few who exercise authority. ‘Elitism" is rule or leadership by an elite, be they in charge by merit or merely because they have the power.”

Related: Obama is indeed an “aristocrat” – a member of the aristocracy in its meaning “government by the citizens deemed to be best qualified to lead.” Yes, the man has earned “class” [which the current president does not display in any way, despite his Yale and Harvard education along with his family’s heritage].

Rich’s quarterly appointment (19th) with his endocrinologist resulted in some medication changes as well as instructions to lose the 6 pounds he has gained in the past half year. He had anticipated as much. It seemed almost unfair that such a relatively small weight gain (from the types of foods he had splurged on) resulted in poorer blood test results. Given the next two weeks’ plans, it was doubtful that any weight would be lost until June!

Beautiful magnolias were blooming (19th) in the front yard.

Notice the bee on the right.

Rich receives (via his Google News subscription) notices of worldwide newspaper and magazine articles that mention the Episcopal Church. One such (19th) is this:
Uganda: Church of Uganda Steps Farther Away Over Gays     AllAfrica.com - Washington, USA

He read the article on Uganda and submitted a comment.
We realize that most of the continent of Africa is clearly against all expressions of homosexuality. However, we do wonder whether the "Global South" as a whole has an accurate understanding of same-sex orientation. Please allow me to suggest that you visit www.nolan-pingpank.com (intended as a very decent and family-friendly website) as one example of a same-sex, male home. Also, in the non-commercial, educational website www.philosophy-religion.org there are a number of scholarly articles in the ALL HANDOUTS section that might be illuminating. We realize that the cultural settings of Uganda and elsewhere are such that same-sex relationships are abhorrent and repulsive. Perhaps these two online resources might present an alternative viewpoint.

The website’s hits rose significantly for the next few days, and there was one posted rebuke. I cannot understand how "The Church" which it is not, can go against the scriptures (sic), so as to be politically correct. It's easy, love the person hate the sin, now all the sinner has to do is repent.

Rich response was published, too:
This is not a matter of "political correctness." Nonetheless, it is an issue as difficult to explore and consider faithfully as were issues of the Copernican Revolution and insights from Galileo, who also were Christians. Furthermore, like abortion, family planning, assisted death for the terminally ill, etc., there will always be at least two interpretations provided by faithful, "Bible-believing" Christians around the world. The very approach to, and applications of, biblical studies by faithful Christians is not uniform and never have been - as evident in the Book of Acts. I suspect that even among biblical literalists there are many differences on matters related to Scripture. The Word of God within Scripture is Christ himself; that is different from the claim that all biblical sentences are the "words of God." A major challenge for us is how we faithful Christians can agree to differ, even when we are "Bible believing."

A gathering of about thirty retired Episcopal clergy, their spouses, widowers, and widows was held at the Duncan Center in Delray Beach (20th). Although the 11 a.m. presentation by a Roman Catholic psychologist was pretty awful from our viewpoint (and at least one colleague; she admitted in a near whisper to the inclusion of much eastern mysticism, which can be very destructive), the Eucharist following in the chapel and luncheon were most pleasant. We had ample opportunity to talk with Bishop Schofield and Bishop Frade as well as table companion the Rev. Dr. Stuart Hoke (recently retired from Trinity Parish, NYC, a veteran of 9/11).

Calvin O. Schofield, Jr. Chapel

conference center for the presentation and the luncheon

After the Eucharist a widow chats with Bishop Frade; Bishop Schofield’s wife Elaine (right) is about to leave.

At luncheon: Bob’s back in the foreground, Rich’s vacant seat, and newly retired Dr. Hoke on the right.

Asked for a comment, Rich wrote, On hand were about thirty of "all sort and conditions" of retired, lay and ordained, women and men gathered in relaxed fellowship. Senior couples, singles, widowers, and widows heard a presentation on wellness by a Roman Catholic psychologist. Bishop Schofield celebrated and offered a touching homily as various English and Spanish accents blended in Eucharistic harmony. At an amply supplied luncheon Bishops Frade and Schofield greeted us "senior citizens" who, at a half dozen or so tables, clearly had congenial conversations flowing! The substance of Anglican diversity and its Eucharistic unity was wonderfully represented in the three hours together. The "among friends" atmosphere was clear!

94°F Mostly Sunny as of 4:40 PM

Too hot for mid-May! Temperature was a bit higher a few hours earlier.

Rich took an online political quiz; the results:

ACCORDING TO YOUR ANSWERS,

The political group that agrees with you most is...

CENTRIST

CENTRISTS espouse a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention and sometimes support individual freedom of choice. Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind, tend to oppose "political extremes," and emphasize what they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.

The RED DOT on the Chart shows where you fit on the political map.

 

Bob took the same test:

ACCORDING TO YOUR ANSWERS,

The political group that agrees with you most is...

CENTRIST

CENTRISTS espouse a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention and sometimes support individual freedom of choice. Centrists pride themselves on keeping an open mind, tend to oppose "political extremes," and emphasize what they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.

The RED DOT on the Chart shows where you fit on the political map.

In the June edition:

click to enlarge

We watched “Sicko” (23rd) attentively. It raises all sorts of questions about our national economic philosophy and health care policies – plus the credibility of the federal government and trustworthiness of the health care industry. As noted above, we are both centrists and not ready to jump rashly to a pro- or anti- position on anything. Yet, an indefinite suspension of belief can prevent responsible citizenship.

In any case, we again realized not only how fortunate we are with our health care insurance from our State of Connecticut retirement benefits, but also how too many individuals’ quiet desperation about their medical care is beneath the aspirations of a truly great nation. Reform is needed. Perhaps President Obama will be able to help! [One of Frank Kirkpatrick’s chapters (“The Economic Order”) in Living Issues In Ethics is pertinent: www.philosophy-religion.org/living/12.pdf]

Although collegial friends with our diocesan bishop here, we differ with him - and perhaps the majority of Episcopal clergy - about the nature of “peasant religion.” For example –
South Florida Sun-Sentinel.com - Pompano Beach:
Blessing of the Fleet event set today along the Intracoastal     May 24, 2008

Boaters can have their vessels blessed during the Blessing of the Fleet event today as part of the city's centennial events series.

The Rev. Leo Frade, bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Southeast Florida, will sprinkle holy water to wish safe passage and a plentiful catch at St. Martin's Episcopal Church, 140 SE28th Ave.

Boaters should line up at 2:45 p.m. just south of the Hillsboro Inlet. They will be escorted to the church along the Intracoastal by the Broward Sheriff's Office's Marine Unit and Coast Guard Auxiliary. Frade then will head to the Hillsboro Inlet to bless the fishing charter boats.

The ceremony will begin at 3 p.m. There also will be a pirate-themed party featuring nautical-themed arts and crafts, and a bounce house.
A few days later the Roman Pope added his wizardry to the newspapers by blessing bikers. Such “blessings” are superstitious rubbish – whether done by a primitive tribe’s shaman or a contemporary religious functionary!

 

Severe storms along with a tornado warning arrived during late Saturday afternoon (24th) of the Memorial Day weekend; on our way to church we both predicted a very low attendance; we were right! Nevertheless, the dozen-plus-one of us worshiped spiritedly. As the Palm Beach Post noted the next morning:

POWER OUTAGES, HAIL, WIND STRIKE COUNTY - Saturday, May 24, 2008
Thousands of people lost electricity, hail the size of golf balls pounded Delray Beach and a 52-mph wind gust was measured at Palm Beach International Airport during a downright nasty Saturday afternoon soaked with wind and rain. Severe thunderstorms left about 8,500 customers without power throughout South Florida.

However, the boats did get their magic in Pompano Beach, just south of our County.

 

OUR 71st BIRTHDAY WEEK

SUNDAY, MAY 25

(Below) Café Boulud, Palm Beach, celebrating Bob’s birthday two days early, so that we could have their wonderful Belgian Waffles.

the main entrance to the Brazilian Court, home of Café Boulud

To the left of the entrance to the Brazilian Court, our table was located at the first (l-r) of the three windows.

view from our table

THE Belgian Waffles topped with a bourbon banana walnut compote plus sausages!

The waiter thoughtfully brought Bob a birthday candle and inscribed Happy Birthday plate with his dessert of bread pudding and vanilla ice cream.

While returning to the car, we noticed another building marked “gym” across the street. Rich confessed to Bob that as he was looking in the large gym windows, he wondered what the two gray-haired old ladies were doing in there on a Sunday. They turned out to be our reflections in an interior mirror! Much laughter!

MONDAY, MAY 26

Nick & Johnnie’s, Palm Beach

We were Ray’s guests for a birthday (note the balloons!) luncheon at Nick & Johnnie’s - reopened under new ownership. On the way home we stopped to do an errand, and both balloons swooshed out a car door; Bob watched them ascend close together until, as little dots, they went into a cloud. Romantic!

Our server Taylor, new to the staff, was excellent in every way!

TUESDAY, MAY 27th

After breakfast on his 71st birthday!

After the morning walk; Comes looks up to Bob in so many ways!

Luncheon at Hilton’s Veranda Restaurant as guests of Jo and Ann

plexiglas encased memorial collage made by Jo & Ann and given to us as a birthday present

(front)

(back)

WEDNESDAY 28TH AND THURSDAY 29TH

As planned well in advance, we were grounded both days for the resurfacing of the roads within our Egret Nest neighborhood.

from Rich’s study

FRIDAY, MAY 30th

Before breakfast on his 71st birthday!

Temple Orange – Ritz Carlton, Palm Beach

Temple Orange extends into an outdoor terrace - not our preference.

We both ordered a Palm Beach BLT (with “burned” bacon) and garden salad.
“Palm Beach BLT - Turkey Breast, Applewood Smoked Bacon, Lettuce & Tomato, Multi-Grain Toast”

with our complimentary birthday desserts (and candles)!
Tiramisu - Espresso Soaked Ladyfingers, Marscarpone Cheese, Cocoa Dust
Vanilla Crème Brûlée - Mango Salsa, Almond Biscotti

Our dessert plates were chocolate-inscribed with “Happy Birthday”!

To complete the day, flowers arrived from Roberta, Randy, Jessica, and Emily!

SATURDAY, MAY 31st

We were Trish’s birthday guests at Amici’s in Palm Beach.

Bob’s birthday dessert – after the “Lasagna of the Day” - lamb

Rich’s birthday dessert – also after the “Lasagna of the Day” - lamb

an attractive park diagonally across the street from Amici’s

May’s agenda was much fuller than we had anticipated, but the month was a fine one, except for Comes’ condition at age 13 (in human terms: 7 X 13 = 91). We have embarked on our 72nd year! Both of us anticipated a rather quiet month ahead.

JUNE

HURRICANE SEASON BEGINS (1st)! We are as fully prepared as possible: the whole house generator tests itself weekly; sufficient food is on hand, and now it is up to the laws of nature!

Friend Vance O. drove from his home in Mexico for a visit to his Alabama family and various people in this Florida region. We were very pleased to host him (3rd) for luncheon (our main meal) and catch up. Vance was the founding convener of Integrity-Palm Beach.

Having slept his usual 6 hours (supplemented during the day) (5th), Rich got up at 3 a.m. and was amazed to be greeted by Comes soon afterwards. He gave Rich that stare; sure enough, he needed to poop/pee. He was also quite thirsty, but seemed disinterested in a light breakfast (in which his crucial medicines are placed). Rich then awakened Bob, who confirmed that Comes needed a quick butt-wash (which had to be repeated in a few hours). By spreading out his breakfast on a plate, Bob got him to finish eating. Bob returned to bed, Rich to the morning news via computer, and Comes to sleep again. Such is the irregular, loving care of an old dog with congestive heart failure!

In this matter, Kerry Kennedy (author of the essay excerpted above, concerning her father Robert’s assassination forty years ago) is a better theologian than most clergy! Today we hear “pray for (this), pray for (that)” as if humans have little or no responsibility for the evolution of history (or even the development of our individual lives). Irresponsible and magical thinking as well as a failure to thank God for the Creator’s gift of human free-will (imago dei) and responsibility seems to dominate church life! Genuine prayer is far more significant than these trivializations.

Combine this sort of nonsense with a belief system contaminated by, and apparently stuck with, too many 4th century Greek-like philosophical notions foreign to the mind of Christ plus more people better educated in the liberal (freeing) arts and sciences, and we might better understand the relegating of Christianity to mere ceremonial moments. (See next item.)

a view above the partition from our luncheon (6th) table at Legal Sea Food

Partial window view from our table; “the Harriet” is the building on the right; its picture is placed below with June 21st.

ACUTE SADNESS AGAIN

Comes on his 13th birthday – May 3, 2008 (photo by Bob)
[One can detect the sadness in Comes’ expression two months after Tenno’s death.]

COMES   May 3, 1995 – June 7, 2008

Comes in 1995, his birth year

Comes’ flag (8th). In the future we plan to fly Tenno, Comes, and Will’s flags on their birthdays.

After an errand (11th) at CityPlace, we lunched at the adjacent Cheesecake Factory. Bob’s timing was perfect; our 11:30 arrival was such that we had begun eating as about 200 people from a convention poured in the door. The staff was anticipating their arrival.

from our booth

Also from our booth; seating on the outdoor patio was unappealing, because of the heat. Macy’s is across the street with a corner entrance.

From the car window; as we headed home, we noticed that a cleansing chemical was at work in the Kravis Center’s decorative pool. Looked like the cleaning agent sometimes placed in toilet bowls.

The forecasted luncheon rain was arriving; we headed right into it.

The next morning (12th) we took some of the dogs’ items to the local Peggy Adams Animal Rescue League. They were received sensitively and appreciatively.

Later in the day we received a message from London (excerpted): “We would very much appreciate a copy of the photograph of yourself with your partner to be able to use in an exhibition of gay Christians that we are putting together for display on our stall in the Market Place.” Lesbian and Gay Christian Movement, Oxford House, Derbyshire Street, London, E2 6HG, UK. Gladly done!

After Rich’s Friday afternoon nap, Bob broke the news of Tim Russert’s death. Mr. Russert was one of Rich’s few contemporary heroes, and he most always watched “Meet The Press.” Surprising himself, Rich shed some tears. He felt that Mr. Russert was one of the few genuinely truthful and trustworthy political analysts and news commentators. And, now 13 years our junior – an untimely death! Furthermore, an immersed practitioner of an informed Irish/Roman-Catholicism, Russert more than any prelate or Jesuit injected a spirit of respect for his religious predilections, given his extraordinary life. "Family and faith," Russert's colleague and friend Tom Brokaw writes in his own words for PEOPLE, "were the foundations of his life." We couldn’t agree more with those priorities!

It is wonderful that at this time in history people in the United States can define “family” authentically for themselves, if they care to.

On Sunday morning (15th) Bob stopped his bicycle ride within River Bridge to greet a Tricolor Cavalier (the same breed as Tenno and Comes) he had never seen before. The owner, when in the community, usually walks his dogs at 5 a.m., he said. Most strangely, the Cavalier walked directly to Bob, jumped up on his rear legs, looked at Bob directly in the eyes and, without motion, hugged Bob while laying his cheek on Bob’s leg. What to make of that!? It felt uncanny.

We picked up (19th) Comes’ cremains and with glum hearts brought them home. Bob drove and Rich shed some tears as he held the little wooden chest on his lap – where, when he was a puppy, Comes was usually held by Rich.

the same type of chest as Tenno’s

We received a number of thoughtful condolences via cards and e-mails when Comes died. Those who have, or have had, beloved pets know what a wonder they are and that their deaths are felt more deeply than those of many a human’s passing.

Tenno (l) and Comes’ (r) white, ceramic paw prints in our curio cabinet were thoughtfully provided by our vet.

Louise M., a friend of Karen B. (Will’s breeder and a longtime “Cavalier friend”), picked up (21st) all the doggy items (crates, door gates, and so on) that we have used over the years. We had a lovely visit and were happy that Tenno and Comes’ effects will be of continued usefulness. A few items were also shared with neighbors Eileen and Richard, who have a new puppy.

plexiglas encased memorial collages from by Jo & Ann

June 21, 2008 West Palm Beach

The Stonewall Ball on June 21 at the Harriet Himmel Theater celebrated that historic moment in 1969, while honoring the gay rights advocacy movements of today. The yearly event connects gay and lesbian people with our elected officials.

This year the ballroom was decorated in a US Colonial theme. The event featured live entertainment, a silent auction and dancing. The three-course patron dinner preceding the event, began with a cocktail hour at 6 p.m. A special presentation accompanied the dinner as Compass recognized the winner of the Leadership Award.

The silent auction was held from 6 to 10 p.m., and featured a variety of gifts from local retailers. Guests were encouraged, though not required, to dress in 18th century US colonial attire. As usual, we chose suits. We do not “do” black tie – ever.

daytime photo of “the Harriet” (taken on the 6th from our table at Legal Sea Food)

Dreamlike – after the sumptuous meal on the second floor’s Patron Dinner, we cautiously walked down the staircase and sat ringside at the dance floor. The initial slow dancing provided about a half hour that allowed us to have our annual, nostalgic dance together. There was a period in Connecticut when we went dancing every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night!

But, then, out of the blue we were called forward by name (with announced years together) over the loudspeaker to have a special dance, initially for just us – with flash bulbs popping at us from every direction. The press was on hand. Our 53 years together is a bit of a public novelty. Being at the center of attention is flattering, but uncomfortable for two old introverts! Yet, to help break through the usual stereotypes of gay men, we are always glad to come forward.

We took our seats again, and so many marvelous people (including some of the guest government officials) came by for a brief chat. Three fellow parishioners from St. Andrew’s were also on hand.

All went well until we had arrived home, and Rich underwent a brief, chemical whatever. His glucose level was all right, but whatever this episode was, it was over within twenty minutes. Then, a good night’s sleep!

ringside

partial view (about 25%) of the dance floor prior to the dancing

West Palm Beach Mayor Lois Frankel and fellow dancer

SUCH A SURPRISE IN THE MORNING!

Approaching Miami – a very densely built city that has no indication of the “tropics.” Clearly, greed has dictated the jam-packed – and still growing – area.

a maze of options into the city

partial view of the reception for about 30 invited people

Janice speaks to the gathered lawyers and guests

partial view of Miami on the way home

The dining area table was set for (26th) our pre-noon service for Comes.

link to service leaflet

Rich misread some of the internet ordering directions, so enough food was delivered (26th) to last for a few months!

Rich completed (27th) “a continuation of Safeguarding God's Children in an online training program called Armatus™.” In past years he registered for other mandated live or tutorial workshops on such topics. On the one hand, they may be very informative to the novice church participant, but required repetitions seem monotonous, whether for clergy or lay employees/volunteers. They are likely insurance driven (related to possible law suits) despite the rhetoric, and in any case, it is saddening that such information is apparently needed.

HERB’S 91st BIRTHDAY PARTY – Saturday, June 28, 2008

in the St. Andrew’s parish hall after the 6 p.m. Service

Margot proposes a heartfelt toast to Herb. To the left is a table filled with wonderful nourishment, including a birthday cake.

We expected June to be a relatively uneventful month, and we were mistaken! Perhaps July will be pleasant and tranquil.

JULY

Arriving at the Hilton (1st) for a buffet lunch; Kiwanis Club was on hand, too.

On the way home after lunch, a plane (center silver dot) was about to land just ahead of a storm.

In the evening we received an email from longtime friend Ginny B., who let us know that her brother Dudley had died at 72. Within the past two years another brother Jay had died, and within the past couple of years her husband. We have kept in touch with Ginny since the 1950s.

 

an afternoon gale-like storm (2nd) – view from our family room

On July 4th morning only the slightest breeze stirred the flag.

With afternoon rains more severe than on the day before, our lake was well filled by suppertime.
Neighbors/sisters Jo and Ann, with the latter’s son and daughter-in-law, joined us on our lakeside porch to watch the first-rate, 9 p.m. fireworks display – originating in a municipal park not more than a mile away; the weather had cleared nicely.

An evening (5th) with our (east side) adjacent neighbors John and Linda L. was most pleasant! They shared highlights of their recent 2-week trip abroad with one of their sons, his wife, and their 3-year old daughter – clearly a youngster in whom they take great pride! Their familial relationships deserve the most positive use of “family.”

a lovely arrangement we sent to the church (photo from the florist’s website)

A portion of the rear dining room of Nick & Johnnie’s, Palm Beach, where, in the outside patio area, we had lunch with Ray on May 26th. It was too hot and humid to sit there on the 8th.

A mother duck and 3 ducklings passed by our window during supper at the Anchor Inn

filled the tank on the way home (9th)

After our haircuts (10th), we chose the luncheon salad bar at Ruby Tuesday’s. Rich was prepared this time; he does not like their salad croutons, so (unfashionably as always) he took along his own!

Just for a partial morning’s enjoyment (17th) we drove about 20 miles to shop at Palm Beach Garden’s Whole Foods Market (with more than 270 stores in North America and the United Kingdom). We were shocked at the elevated prices. Moreover, the gourmet-type labels on most items were either unfamiliar to us, or they just sounded unappealing. We picked up a few items, returned home for lunch (some of what we had just purchased), and concluded that there was no need to shop there in the future. A store is planned to open soon in our region, but “our” Fresh Market and Publix have everything we need. However, with the Bush recession a major factor for many people, we wonder whether such “upscale” grocery stores will survive.

Palm Beach Post (18th) – “Ecumenical forum, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Saturday, St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 100 N. Palmway, Lake Worth. A discussion of "Your Faith and Your Political Choices: Entirely Separate?" will be led by the Rev. Canon Richard T. Nolan. The forum will be preceded at 6 p.m. by a service of evening prayer, with Communion from the reserved sacrament. Call (561) 582-6609.” The dozen on hand provided a lively, constructive exchange!

Regarding the item below, what is the Lambeth Conference? (Information from the Conference website).

“It is the meeting of the archbishops and bishops of the Anglican Communion.

“The Anglican Communion is a family of churches around the world. Most bishops within the communion look after a diocese, or a region of parishes. If every such bishop attends the Lambeth Conference, it is as if every diocese in the Anglican Communion is meeting with every other.

“The conference is one of the ‘instruments of communion’ , which means that it is one of the ways in which churches in the Anglican Communion relate to one another and are held together.

“The first Lambeth Conference was held in 1867 at Lambeth Palace (hence the name), the Archbishop of Canterbury’s residence in London. One takes place approximately every ten years.”

Our ad/announcement (above) was published in London’s weekly “Church Times” (18th) and appeared again the next week. The website’s statistics shot upward!

That announcement does it! We have offered what we can to the “Listening Process,” and we cannot imagine any future, gay-related contributions from us within the Church or elsewhere. Consumatum est!

a King Egret in the back yard (18th, 6:30 p.m.)

a beautiful sunset on the way home after 6 p.m. church (19th)

“Today’s financial crises were years in the making, as Americans, awash in tax cuts and easy money, lived beyond their means to an unprecedented degree, and the Bush administration, while cutting taxes, pursued wars and vast new spending.” from an editorial in the New York Times (20th) Yes, indeed!

Several weeks ago Bob arranged for a little known, insurance-related inspection process for dwellings’ construction and their protections (i.e., shutters) related to storms. Nearly a 50% refund for 2007 arrived in the mail, and a phone call (to clarify the nature of the refund) informed us that a similar pro-rated refund for 2008 would soon reach us! How wonderfully honest; we had no idea that 2007 would be impacted! Nor did we have any notion that the refund rate would be so much. Additionally, it implied quite a compliment to our builder.

one of two small iguanas in the back yard probably attracted by the temporary, unattractive vegetation at the shore

Evelyn, Ann (whose 80th birthday we celebrated early (22nd), Jo, Bob (Rich took the picture) at the Breakers, Palm Beach

We very much appreciate being able to make a June 3–10, 2009, reservation at the on-campus Smith House this early. Living on campus for the Reunion will make it so much easier medically for Rich.

Quoted from a news release (24th) re Lambeth Conference in England:
Bishop Leo Frade of Southeast Florida had wrapped a rainbow flag around his sign (see picture below, center front, with Miami baseball cap) because, he said, "when we talk about justice and mercy, we need to remember that gay and lesbian persons are discriminated against by the church and the government."

Ben M. was our guest (24th) for supper at Applebee’s during his Florida visit. He is a Ph.D. candidate in psychology (cognitive science) at the University of California at Irvine. Now 31, he shared insightfully that he has a lovely girlfriend. Ben is one of the most brilliant students Rich has ever had, and we both look forward to his visits – during which the three of us chat about a wide range of topics.

entrance to Grandview Gardens

People gathered inside and around the pool. Several aspiring and elected politicians chatted amiably. A number of them as well as other familiar faces came by our chairs for at least a greeting or conversation.

at the Grandview Gardens party with West Palm Beach’s Mayor Lois Frankel

A fine night’s sleep that began for Rich immediately after we watched a Netflix movie and a recorded program. Bob gave him the Glaucoma eye drops, and off he went – oblivious to Bob’s continuing tv watching.

The next day (28th) Bob had a satisfactory quarterly appointment with his urologist. We really do try to put medical visits out of our minds and succeed pretty well, until an appointment or an incident comes along. Rich makes an effort to consider his multitude of daily pills as benign vitamins!

Bob washed (29th) the kitchen and kitchen nook floor, which is a periodic “must.” Without the dogs, it does stay cleaner.

July was more active than we had planned. Ray’s death was a particularly sad event. Other than a couple of routine medical appointments, haircuts, and church, August appeared eerily inactive in advance.

AUGUST

The first week of the month was pleasantly run of the mill, but with a very unexpected inquiry about Rich teaching philosophy part-time at a nearby university satellite campus. It seems that adjunct philosophy professors are nearly impossible to find. For a moment, he felt stirred toward stepping in to help, but reality set it within seconds! As with so much else, “to every thing there is a season ...”

For a few weeks Rich’s diabetes blood tests remained unacceptably elevated with effects of tiredness and at times feeling “one step out of reality.” Three cheers, though! Rich’s blood test was back to a customary range on the 7th.

Collecting and digesting information about the Lambeth Conference for the church forum on the 16th accompanied by sermon preparation for the 9th occupied much of the first week of the month. Six Saturdays in a row were unusual, but vacation schedules opened that door, which is all right from time to time.

Lunch (5th) with Dorothy at the Boynton Beach Olive Garden gave us a great chance to catch up. We joked about our shared elder slip-up: we did not pin down that we would meet Dorothy at the Olive Garden rather than her home. We made some incorrect assumptions, but eventually we connected at the restaurant!

We have discovered that we have a respectful, “Jewish-friendly” kitchen range with a “Sabbath Mode”! The manual states: “The Sabbath mode allows the oven to remain on in a bake setting until disabled. When the Sabbath mode is set, only the number and start pads will function, no tones will sound, and the displays will not show messages or temperature changes. The heat source icons will appear on the oven display when cycling on. The Sabbath mode will remain on and at the set temperature after a power failure, if set before the power failure. Before the Sabbath mode can be enabled on the range, the oven must be set to use the Sabbath Mode. The setting of the oven to use the Sabbath mode will be a one time process.” It has no Episcopal mode!

For the St. Andrew’s recipe booklet in preparation, a meal originating with Rich’s mother – a favorite casserole loved by her whole clan, we submitted:

Bob and Dick's Hot Dog or Hamburg Mess
In a large casserole dish (glass or aluminum) blend 2 cans of undiluted, Campbell's condensed tomato soup; 1 can of strained Del Monte "Blue Lake" string beans; about 1 lb. (partially cooked, singed) chunky hamburg or sliced hot dogs. Lightly touch with Lawry's seasoned salt. On top of the blend, place 1 layer of American cheese slices (NOT "cheese product"). Finally, cover the whole mess with a generous portion of mashed potato. Optional: add some fresh, sliced, sweet onion or a jar of strained Aunt Nellie's whole onions. Bake in oven at 400 degrees for about an hour or until the mess is a bit bubbly and the potato top has begun to brown. Bob prefers to consume a generous serving of the mess at lunch or supper; Dick will also eat cold leftovers either for breakfast or as a snack - which repulses Bob.

Palm Beach Post (Friday the 8th): Integrity - Palm Beach will meet at approximately 7:30 p.m. Saturday at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 100 N. Palmway, Lake Worth. Margot Emery, convener of Integrity/Palm Beach, will present "An Artist's Perspective on Human Rights: Looking for Insight Through Music and Theatre." The meeting will be preceded at 6 p.m. by a Eucharistic liturgy, led by the Rev. Canon Richard T. Nolan. A potluck supper will be served; please bring a dish to share. Call (561) 582-6609. Web: www.IntegrityPalmBeach.org.

Rich worked on and off during the entire week on a new sermon. He found the preparation to be very time consuming. On the Gospel reading about Jesus’ walking on the water, he could not find any resources whose ideas he could share with conviction. What he came up with by mid-afternoon (8th) contained nothing new conceptually, but it just took forever to create a coherent sermon on this lectionary text! As always, Bob read it for clarity and spotted a couple of places needing clarification. Rich went over it once more early Saturday morning, before we printed it as a leaflet insert. He again remarked that he is glad not to have to prepare brand new ones very often. At this point, revising old ones is more to his liking! Anyway, the sermon “Christian Unflappability” was very well received; however, as he presented it, he spotted areas where he wished he had said things differently.

The Integrity gathering afterwards, with a mid-30s August attendance, was most enjoyable with good food and Integrity convener Margot’s “twenty-minute” presentation about her primary job as Development Director of the Core Ensemble; the artistic group continues to offer many productions with a social/ethical theme.

A reflective, emailed update (10th) to Karen Z. (Tenno and Comes’ breeder), Karen B. (Will’s breeder), and Jeannie E. (the trio of our Cavalier friends):

We've always rejected the media's use of "closure" - which seems to be like a switch for emotional neutrality that eventually turns on.

Certainly we'll never become emotionally indifferent to our 13 years with Tenno and Comes!

Their pictures are throughout the house, on our screensavers, and embedded in our hearts & minds. We chat about them readily and admit to missing them in so many ways.

More and more we are "resigned to" and "accepting of" life without them. Nonetheless, there are still those occasional stings and gut reaching moments when we wish we could hold them just once more.

No "closure" - ever!

Our life does go on, and we're grateful for that. As I continue to say, Bob is 71 going on 40, while I'm 71 going on 90! :-) In a month we'll celebrate 53 years together, and next June we'll attend our 50th college class reunion in CT. We've reached a point where we could not be more "out" - and supportively noted in the local press and in alumni publications of our schools (including divinity schools!). What a wonderful way to spend senior years - having experienced first hand the continuing evolution of the embrace of human diversity. Still a long way to go, but remarkable progress since the 1950s for individuals once totally held back because of racial, gender-related, and other issues! [In February we were honored at the annual luncheon of West Palm Beach's ACLU chapter - basically for being old, gay/coupled for a half century, and out! :-) ]

Do keep us on puppy-party lists - and especially if Will visits. We rarely see a Cavalier these days - though I don't know how many ceramic-type images (even a lamp) we have throughout the house. About a year ago, a visiting, detail-oriented friend sitting in our family room burst out with, "Do you realize that you have xx of your dogs' breed in this room?" (I've forgotten how many.) We had never counted, but we assured him that there are as many outside the family room!

Love from us both –

Bob took this picture (13th) of Mocha, a neighbor’s puppy who has adopted Bob whenever they meet. She is a Lab and Shepherd mix – and is growing by leaps and bounds.

Unfortunately the Palm Beach Post has retired numerous staff members as a cost cutting measure – including friend Carl H., who knew how to post St. Andrew’s information. With no reference to the submitted Lambeth topic, all we have is this (15th): 'Understanding Christianity' forum, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Saturday, St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 100 N. Palmway, Lake Worth. Call (561) 582-6609. Disappointing! No forum topic, no mention of the preceding 6 p.m. Service.

After erranding at B.J.s, we lunched at the TGIFriday restaurant, a few miles north of the Wellington Mall. After our 11:20 arrival, the food was tasty, the service excellent, but the raucous music so loud that we are unlikely to return. We had eaten there several years ago, and we recalled that, especially at a different hour, it was just too noisy for us.

Bob returns to our table, good-natured at Rich’s ever present camera!

The forum at St. Andrew’s went very well; in fact, it continued for a half hour longer than usual. When we return home to a beautiful full moon at 9, Rich went right to bed – but he awoke at 12:30 a.m. with the onset of the same stomach pain as before. He self-medicated, and by about 3, the nausea, pain and chills had passed with less intensity than at previous times. We had to cancel our Sunday luncheon plans with Conrad and Stephen, but, at Rich’s urging, Bob went to the 5 p.m. St. Andrew’s event. It took until Friday (22nd) for complete recovery.

Tropical Storm Fay (19th-20th) visited us without harm; it left about 8” of rain, which filled our lake nicely. Neighboring Wellington had a significant tornado that left some serious local damage. As the storm proceeded northward, it inflicted its greatest harm.

Because of a computer problem, we lost some pictures and text from these stormy days.

(23rd) – Despite his Sunday through Thursday recovery period (except for erratic blood glucose tests), Rich was able to complete preparations for the Saturday Service, including the sermon (a revision) “Heroes and Celebrities.”

Sunset Bar & Grill

An excellent buffet luncheon at the Hilton Veranda was on the day’s docket (27th) as well as an early evening Compass-related event – a Pride Business Alliance Mixer at the quaint Sunset Bar & Grill, 6:30 – 8:00 pm. When we arrived right on the dot, a dozen were already present, and we were warmly greeted by Compass staff members. In the course of the evening, we had a pleasant chat with Scott Fox (Compass’ Executive Director) and extended conversations with Leo [a Roman Catholic priest (not in clerical garb) now serving fulltime secularly in human service work] and Mary B. (member of the Florida House of Representatives since 2002). About fifty men and women (straight and gay) attended. When we left about 8 p.m., about 15 were still in conversation on the outdoor patio; at that juncture, we had a brief exchange with our late friend Ray’s doctor.

These are people of vocational substance, not the silly riff-raff sometimes depicted by media accounts of any gay or gay-friendly gatherings - this one, of business and professional individuals. The social and occupational networking is a part of our USA culture’s evolution of a new expression of human diversity.

On impulse (28th) Rich checked the past twelve month’s combined summary of the visits to www.philosophy-religion.org and www.nolan-pingpank.com.
Date Range: 08/26/2007 - 08/26/2008 Range Total: 187,319 Gratifying!

From Planned Parenthood (28th): After spending the past few months dealing with some of the worst results of eight years of the Bush administration's backwards policies on health care and sex
education...well, they don't get it. Not one bit.
They don't get that young people need comprehensive, accurate sex education. They don't get that they don't belong in the exam room letting their politics get in the middle of a woman and her doctor. And they don't get that preventing sexually transmitted diseases starts with one simple item: a condom.
Want to join me in helping them get it, as only Planned Parenthood can? Simple. Send a condom to the Republican National Convention. And the best part? Every dollar we raise will help us elect a president who DOES get it, as well as help us fight to secure laws and policies that protect reproductive health care. We sponsored four condoms!

“I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in a hospital and to live lives free of discrimination.” – from Barack Obama’s Acceptance Speech (28th)

For a couple of years Rich has sent an annual contribution to the Dominican Sisters of Saint Catharine, Kentucky, the Order that operated Mt. Trinity Academy, his elementary school. The beautifully situated school closed many years ago. He just discovered on the Order’s website: CORPORATE STANCES OF THE DOMINICAN SISTERS OF ST. CATHARINE, KENTUCKY September 1990 - We support legislation that protects the civil rights of homosexuals, such as nondiscrimination in housing and employment. Encouraging!

The Labor Day Weekend opened promisingly (30th)! We both slept wonderfully (Rich until 5 a.m, Bob until 7) and awoke refreshed! Rich’s blood glucose was very good, given where it has been.

Just before we left for lunch at the Earl of Sandwich, Ann brought from her home across the street a hot meal of vegetable meatloaf bathed in a gravy with lots of vegetables – our next day’s main meal!

When Mayra finished her weekly housekeeping at 4, the house just seemed so fresh and spotless! For thirteen years, she has done so much to enhance our home life.

Sunday (31st) was a quiet day at home. At noon Bob prepared the excellent meatloaf luncheon from Ann and Jo. Afterwards Rich’s daily nap, both of us made a trip to the Publix, and around 6:15 Bob was off to Roosters. TV concluded the evening and month of August. Plans for Monday/Labor Day were for another day at home.

SEPTEMBER

A quiet day at home with DVDs, reading, good food, each other – and reminiscences about Tenno, Comes, and Will. That we continue to miss them very much is undoubtable. That we are inclined to look for a new pet is unthinkable. For both of us, stamina and endurance have become issues. Of greatest concern is the likelihood of our future medical needs, during which the excellent pet care that we insist upon would suffer. We have learned firsthand that dogs are not just things to use for our enjoyment; they are conscious, creatures capable of feeling and perception.

Ann brought over a delicious snack food – a plate of breaded, etc., baked cauliflower pieces, which Rich in particular likes hot or cold.

MORE PEASANT RELIGION! (news from The Episcopal Church)
Churches bless knapsacks in back-to-school ritual September 02, 2008
The first day of school can be a scary experience for students of all ages, but often, our little ones experience an inordinate amount of stress when leaving home and heading into the unknown. One's faith community can be a source of strength and encouragement when the school year begins again, and a powerful way churches can help is by offering a "blessing of the backpacks."

We made (3rd) the largest political contribution in our lives to the Obama campaign via a (temporary, reliable) national website www.lgbtforobama.com.

ARMEY: 'BUBBA VOTE' TO HURT OBAMA
By Richard Wolf and Martha T. Moore, USA TODAY
ST. PAUL — The "Bubba vote" and underlying racism will hurt Democrat Barack Obama in key battleground states such as Ohio and Pennsylvania, former House majority leader Dick Armey said Wednesday.
"The Bubba vote is there, and it's very real, and it is everywhere," Armey told USA TODAY and Gannett News Service. "There's an awful lot of people in America, bless their heart, who simply are not emotionally prepared to vote for a black man."

ON THE WEBSITE (4th): OBAMA’S LGBT FRIENDS SPEAK OUT

Here’s what our LGBT friends have said: (ours among others)
“My partner and I (both 72, retired, and Independents) will celebrate our 53rd Anniversary on Sept. 14, 2008. Although we have lived through the continuing evolution of the inclusion of LGBT persons in both church and state since the movement’s inception, and although we are registered domestic partners in Palm Beach County, we still lack the 1000+ legal protections provided married, heterosexual couples. However, never before have we been so enthusiastic about a presidential election - in which the (r)evolution will clearly continue. People younger than we are will benefit enormously by an Obama-Biden administration, but we will take great personal satisfaction in knowing that the movement will continue effectively. We are pleased to have made a significant (for us) contribution today!” — Canon Richard T. Nolan and Robert C. Pingpank, www.nolan-pingpank.com, of the Episcopal Church in the USA

Because of our June picture dancing together (see journal’s June segment above) in the Palm Beach Post and its caption mentioning our 53 years together, we had decided not to fund our annual ad/announcement of our 53rd so soon afterwards. However, in that the national election was evolving with a significant Palin-fundamentalist element, we reversed our decision and on the 4th made the necessary arrangements with the POST for its publication on Sunday the 14th, our day! Her presence on the Republican ticket indicated that the culture wars will resume in the very near future with willful distortions about LGBT people.

A Cranberry Yogurt Coffee Cake arrived via Jo (4th) during the afternoon. To be sure of its continuing availability for a good while, Bob froze most of it.

Two inches of driving rain (5th) were delivered overnight from Hurricane Hanna’s bands, even though the storm’s center was nearly 200 miles east of our coast. After so long a period in a drought, we seem to have recovered for the time being. We most always welcome rain that tops off our lake. No doubt the many varieties of fish and “our” turtles are pleased, too.

During the afternoon, as clouds were giving way to blue sky, two necklaces arrived for us; the style had been labeled “Honesty and Courage” by the New Jersey jewelry artist. On her website our necklace is described as:
Honesty & Courage - Men's Semi-Precious Beaded Gemstone Necklaces
Handmade with 4 x 13mm Picture Jasper tube beads, 6mm Mahogany Obsidian rounds,
4mm Deep Green Jade spacers, 925 Sterling Silver spacers.
Jasper's Courage, Green Jade's Harmony, and Rich Mahogany Obsidian's ability to see the real truth in a situation and make effective decisions.

In the 1970s we had two matching necklaces (below), but one disappeared sometime along the way.

(above) 1976 – age 39 – at an Integrity picnic in CT

Now at age 71 we have replacements!

(above) 2008 “Honesty and Courage”

We wore our new necklaces (6th) when we went to lunch and afterwards at the Fresh Market. A staff (deli) member with whom we have exchanged pleasantries a number of times asked, “If you don’t mind my asking, how long have you two been together?” This wonderful, hard working, black woman in her 40s (a single parent) genuinely celebrated our reply until she had to attend another customer. We presume that two old guys wearing identical necklaces is permission-giving these days to ask that sort of question. And, that is just fine with us!

We were off to the Breakers (7th) to celebrate Conrad and Stephen’s California marriage (last month) and their new home. They have been a couple for 19 years but also wanted to be legally married.

Stephen, Conrad, Bob, Rich at the Breakers

ROWAN WILLIAMS: GAY COUPLES REFLECT THE LOVE OF GOD

ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY EXPRESSES OPTIMISM THAT THE CHURCH MIGHT CHANGE ITS STANCE ON HOMOSEXUALITY.

Gay relationships can "reflect the love of God" in a way that is comparable to marriage, according to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams.

In a series of letters from 2000 and 2001, when he was still archbishop of Wales, Williams wrote that scriptural prohibitions against homosexuality, such as those in Leviticus, were addressed "to heterosexuals looking for sexual variety in their experience".

In the correspondence, an exchange with an evangelical Christian, Williams argued that passages criticising homosexual activity were not aimed at people who were gay by nature.

"An active sexual relationship between two people of the same sex might therefore reflect the love of God in a way comparable to marriage, if and only if it had about it the same character of absolute covenanted faithfulness."

He also expressed his optimism that the church might change its stance on homosexuality: "The church has shifted its stance on several matters, notably the rightness of lending money at interest and the moral admissibility of contraception, so I am bound to ask if this is another such issue."

Publication of the letters comes days after Williams emerged unscathed from an important summit of the world's Anglican bishops. The conference, which ended last Sunday, was designed to maintain unity in the face of rifts over the ordination of gay bishops and the blessings of same-sex unions.

The letters, which could have wreaked more havoc had they been leaked earlier, are likely to fuel the fury of conservative evangelicals angry with Williams for failing to discipline a US church for consecrating a gay man as bishop of New Hampshire.

Riazat Butt - religious affairs correspondent The Guardian, Thursday August 7 2008 (added here a bit late)

Unfortunately, the Archbishop appears to be paralyzed by an odd type of racial/regional prejudice or whatever; he so desperately panders to Global South (“Third World”) Anglicans that in his role as Archbishop of Canterbury he has set aside his well-informed convictions based upon contemporary scholarship. As Archbishop of Canterbury, he has handled this issue, and others, so badly (typical of mystics?) that he has lost the respect of, and effectiveness among, countless Anglicans worldwide – including us!

For two days in a row (7th and 8th) we enjoyed delicious homemade chicken soup, Bruchetta bread, and baked macaroni & cheese from Jo and Ann! And, then on the 3rd day (9th) homemade ravioli, zucchini parmigiana, and “red sauce” with sausage arrived. (See picture below.) Such good friends!

During the afternoon (9th) Dara Kam, the Palm Beach Post Capital Bureau’s (Tallahassee) bureau called, as a result of Compass’s Scott Fox passing on our names. We had an extended conversation about the possible consequences of a passage of “Amendment 2.” [A clarifying internet comment follows: “Amendment 2 does nothing to protect marriage. But it does take away important family protections, health care insurance, hospital visitation and medical decision-making authority, from all unmarried couples, gay and straight. It permanently bans civil unions and dismantles domestic partner benefits that seniors, teachers, police officers and firefighters rely on in more than 18 communities across the state.”]

Submitted to the Palm Beach Post (10th) but not published
name: Richard T. Nolan
message: At age 71 and with personal elder-medical issues, I believe I can ask these questions about the Palin candidacy. If Senator McCain becomes disabled or dies within the next few weeks, would the Republican party embrace their Vice-Presidential candidate as its substitute presidential candidate? If not, why not? If so, on what bases would Governor Palin qualify to serve this nation as its President?

Lunch (10th) with delicious Italian food supplied by Ann and Jo. [We don’t do “presentation.” We just dump food on our plates! Our gay gene must be defective! ☺]

One of our earliest memories (at age 4 ½), or perhaps of periodic recordings afterwards, were President Roosevelt’s words to Congress “....yesterday, December 7th, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.”

Certainly another such day that will live in infamy occurred in 2001 when we were again attacked by a band of demented, thuggish, religious, and political fanatics. Our American flag wafted in the breeze on Sept. 11, 2008.

During the afternoon we watched “Obsession – Radical Islam’s War Against the West,” a DVD sent with the week’s Chronicle of Higher Education. We were reminded that Rich’s internationally read “A Concise Introduction to Islam” (thanks to the Episcopal and Anglican news services; also distributed in Spanish) provides an orientation to traditional, knowledgeable Islam.

“Peasant” versions of all religions run the gamut from wizardry/superstition to militant violence. “Radical Islam” is the latter type of peasant religion. One could say that “Radical Christianity” is also a type of militant, peasant religion, but its violence is primary psychological – though occasionally physical as well – such as happenings in cultures like Nigeria’s - and gay-bashing and maltreatment of women anywhere justified perversely in the name of Christ.

It was surprising to read that many thought that the DVD was anti-Islam. A letter in the POST was more accurate:

“The DVD Obsession is not an attack on law-abiding American-Muslims as some are suggesting.

“I am a student of the Middle East and Radical Islam. I have friends who are Muslim who do not see this program as an attack on them. One is Dr. Zuhdi Jasser, founder of the American Islamic Forum for Democracy. The information in this DVD is about the threat of Radical Islam to America, a threat that major American-Muslim organizations have denounced. That is why I was surprised to see e-mails from the Council on American- Islamic Relations in Tampa and the CAIR-Florida leadership calling this DVD an attack on Muslims.

“The DVD presents facts about Radical Islam and those who embrace this ideology. These are the individuals who want to kill Americans, American-Muslims and other Muslims who do not embrace this ideology. Al-Qaeda is a group of such Islamists. Why CAIR is so upset about Obsession is a mystery to me. After all, they have condemned this Islamist ideology. Why they would protest a program that helps to differentiate Islamists from peace-loving Muslims doesn't make sense.”

While we were lunching at the Earl of Sandwich, Ann and Jo called (which connected with our cell phone). They had made desserts (individual upside down cupcakes filled with chocolate) waiting for us when we returned home. Gourmet!

Palm Beach Post - Thursay, September 11, 2008

Palm Beach County's population is shrinking for the first time in decades, according to preliminary estimates released by the University of Florida's Bureau of Economic and Business Research, county planners said today.

The county's population is expected to drop by 933 people this year, Senior Planner Betty Yiu wrote in an e-mail to top county administrators. The city of West Palm Beach is expected to see the biggest decline, she said. [See our related December comment at
www.philosophy-religion.org/christmas_letters/letter2008.htm]

We are again appreciative of being included within the online September “Clergy Prayer List” of the diocese in which we live.

14     Frank A. Smith     Diaconate

         Dick Nolan & Bob Pingpank Anniversary

Our annual anniversary luncheon at the Palm Beach Yacht Club was not to be on this year’s calendar! During the off-season, the Club is closed on Sundays. The manager assured us that we would be welcome again on Monday the 14th, 2009!

A Thursday (11th) most efficiently handled reservation for noon was telephoned to another favorite place, Café Boulud. As a result of our inquiry, the hostess said that she would call on Saturday to let us know whether Belgian Waffles will be on the menu! (She called and assured us that, although they weren’t on the Sunday menu this week, the chef would prepare them for us.) She asked if we have the same phone number, which she recited. Apparently our email address is on file, too; within two minutes, we received this “form” email:

Dear Richard Nolan,

Thank you for making your dining reservation at Cafe Boulud PB.

If your party size is 1 - 12, please consider this your formal confirmation. However, IF YOUR PARTY SIZE IS 13 OR MORE, please read below and reply with "I agree":

If I need to cancel and do not provide at least 24 hours' notice, I hereby authorize Cafe Boulud Palm Beach to charge the credit card I provided over the phone a Cancellation Fee of $40 per person"

Thank you very much. Reservation details follow:

Your reservation for a party of 2 has been made for Sunday, September 14, 2008 at 12:00 PM.

If you would like to change your reservation, please call us at 561.655.6060.)

Cafe Boulud PB is located at:

301 Australian Ave.

Palm Beach, FL 33480

Phone: 561.655.6060

Fax: 561.655.5060

For more information (dress code, parking, map, etc.) or to make reservations at Cafe Boulud PB:

http://www.opentable.com/rstaurant_profile.asp?ID=2378&restref=2378

The 14th was as beautiful a sunny day as one could wish for. Sure enough, our anniversary announcement was in the Post. Well before noon we set out for Café Boulud and arrived a few minutes early. Only a very few tables were in use; we were shown to a centrally located table that gave us a bird’s eye view of the long hallway entrance as well as the nearby expanse of Café windows. While sipping our beverages, we waited only a short time before the Belgian Waffles were served.

The dress code is “smart casual.” In the Northeast this would also mean a jacket (no tie), but not during Florida summers.

As we were being seated, we mentioned quietly to the host that we were celebrating our 53rd. After we savored the main course, we were asked to wait for something special being prepared by the chef. However, after politely sampling the goodies, we asked the server to box them, so that Rich wouldn’t collapse from sugar intake! A lovely and thoughtful surprise!

Rich awoke from an hour’s nap to find Ann and Bob chatting in the family room. She had brought another baked macaroni and cheese dish. Still feeling on the full side from our noon meal, we refrigerated it for the next day’s lunch.

As we were finishing a very light supper, three turtles (one large and two small “lake pets”) seemed to be frolicking in the lake just a few feet off shore, and one of the green iguanas nibbled at the lawn as well as sunbathed. (The sun was still up and bright at 6 p.m.)

The American values of greed and instant gratification have been major contributors to the Wall Street – federal government crisis, which bloomed dramatically on Monday the 15th. This should be no surprise as most citizens and the corporate world had elevated “greed is good” and “I want what I want NOW!” to their implementations of “superior,” “sophisticated values.” Both of us set our own modest financial goals years ago and have lived well within our financial resources. Even our investments are relatively conservative, much to the consternation of our stock and bank advisers. Yet, for us, life goes on without negative impact of the debacle. Excerpted from Frank Rich’s (20th) observations in The New York Times:

“McCain ... has been chairman of the Senate Commerce Committee, where he claims to have overseen ‘every part of our economy.’ He didn’t, thank heavens, but he does have a long and relevant economic record that begins with the Keating Five scandal of 1989 and extends to this campaign .... It’s not the résumé that a presidential candidate wants to advertise as America faces its worst financial crisis since the Great Depression. That’s why the main thrust of the McCain campaign has been to cover up his history of economic malpractice. ... For all his fiery calls last week for a Wall Street crackdown, McCain opposed the very regulations that might have helped avert the current catastrophe. ... McCain has reversed himself on every single economic issue this year, often within a 24-hour period, whether he’s judging the strength of the economy’s fundamentals or the wisdom of the government bailout of A.I.G.”
And this double talking guy might be our next President?

Not only has the deceitful Bush presidency provided no effective leadership in economic matters, but also it is responsible for the killing and maiming of American military personnel in an undeclared war unopposed in any effective way by the majority “serving” in Congress. This period of American life will go down in history as its most decadent period.

Although we as a family have escaped effects of the worst of these years, including tragedies of weather, we are mindful of, and saddened by, the many types of disasters visited upon so many innocent victims living within our nation’s borders (and beyond).

Sadly, much, perhaps of most, of the United States electorate chooses to remain uninformed about the nation’s problems and their often complex sources. They will vote for whomever they find personally appealing. Bubba rules!

As planned (16th), Bob kept an eye on the periodic servicing of the house air conditioner early in the day. After lunch, armed with his well-researched, memorized figures, he took our 2006 vehicle for an oil change. He knew that, while waiting, he would be approached by a salesperson about leasing a new car; our lease was to expire in two months. (Bob had determined a few years ago that it would be better to lease, because nowadays the turn-in value of General Motors and most other American cars has plummeted.)

After considerable haggling back and forth, Bob turned down the dealer’s unacceptable offer and arrived home for supper. [We budget our resources (flexibly) so that when it is time to purchase or lease a new car (or pay all other bills), we are prepared.] Sure enough, the salesperson called about 6 p.m. and accepted Bob’s offer for a 2008 version and confirmed the leasing deal the next mid-morning (17th). [On the 19th Bob received an email from Cadillac warning that the left rear tire needed a little more air; privacy enthusiasts would panic! The whole report, sent in conjunction with ONSTAR, included other car functions as well.]

A lot like the 2006 model we turned in, our new 2008 “Fire Engine” arrived in the garage about 7 p.m. with Bob at the wheel (above). He had spent a few hours with the dealer to do the endless paperwork. Rich was able to stay home, because Bob used a power-of-attorney to sign for Rich [who checked his own Equifax account and confirmed that the dealer had asked (17th) for his credit report – and most likely Bob’s. The day’s credit score was 812 for Rich and undoubtedly comparable to Bob’s.] [However, on the 22nd we receive a call from the dealer with the message that the bank through which the lease is processed will not accept the power-of-attorney; we agreed to come in the next day.]

Encouraging News Received the 17th:
September 16, 2008

“A new poll shows Americans are split as to whether governments should recognize gay marriage, but a majority say same-sex couples should have legal recognition, the Associated Press reported Monday. The poll was conducted by the AP in conjunction with the National Constitution Center.

“Furthermore, more than two thirds of respondents under the age of 35 say that same-sex couples should receive the same recognition and benefits as heterosexual couples; less than 40% of those older than 35 agree with the younger age group.”

An 8 a.m. (19th) quarterly appointment was on the calendar with Rich’s endocrinologist. We expected a fair-at-best report, given the recent months’ frequently high glucose/blood test scores and a couple of stomach pain incidents followed by very high scores. To be sure that the information is heard and remembered accurately, Bob accompanies Rich to all of his medical appointments and makes notes. Much to our surprise, the report/appointment was among the best in recent years!

On our way back from lunch (20th) we parked at the side of the road for a visit with Mocha, who was being walked by Richard, his “paternal” care-giver. She is growing rapidly! Her ears perked up when she saw Bob, and she bounded in his direction. Richard again remarked how she has taken to Bob. Richard provided a treat for both of us, and we passed them on to Mocha. She was all over Rich, too, with many kisses.

The forum (20th) had a timely topic "Why Should LGBT Individuals Bother With Any Church Involvements?" Unfortunately, now that Carl H. has retired, the replacement “religion news” editor at the Palm Beach Post apparently has a new policy, and we don’t know what it is! No mention of the forum this week. No mention of Integrity last week. In fact, of the dozen or so items within “Religion News” only three were Christian. Even so, we had sixteen participants – two of whom (a delightful black woman and a black man) had driven nearly 70 miles to attend. They had also been at Integrity the previous Saturday.

Shortly before lunch Jo and Ann provided us with freshly made Lentil soup, and during lunch some freshly made mini-muffins arrived! Rich commented that his good LabCorp blood report and visit with his endocrinologist was due to the great food they had been giving us!

began (22nd) for Rich as he awoke at 4 a.m. with an audible laugh. The night before, he had forgotten to set his TV’s timer to switch off, and the first thing he heard the next morning as he slowly opened his eyes was an infomercial praising a colon cleansing product – a very different, rather earthy way to begin a new day, indeed, to begin the autumn season! He felt an immediate kinship with other elderly, early rising folks, who share less than ideal bowel movements.
Perhaps another new “community” – the “elderly bowel-movement-conscious community”!?

Bob was up before 7 to get ready for the first thing on the day’s agenda - a routine visit for Rich to our primary care physician’s practice. The 9:15 a.m. appointment was (as always) late, and we left the office – in a beautiful, new building - at 10:30. Nothing significant there, but to keep prescriptions active, an appointment every 3 or 4 months is required.

During the afternoon (23rd) we went to a law firm of two gay partners 40ish who happen to be very active in Compass. Of the two, Mark Grieco (who works in collaboration with his partner) has updated our Wills, medical and related items to be especially accommodating for Florida same-sex partners. He suggested that although it is not at all essential, legally marrying in Massachusetts next June when we are to be in Connecticut anyway, would be a fine idea; it would be just one more strengthening item among our documents. We have begun to work on the no-invitation, very simple arrangements for an officiating Justice of the Peace. [A partnered Episcopal priest/friend included in his email (27th) to us: “Last week Jim and I watched a heartbreaking documentary on a man who lost his partner of 25 years, and then lost their farm to his partner's cousin who had no contact with him for years. So I can certainly see why your lawyer would want every conceivable legal standing that you can find.”]

Jo (l) and Ann (r) at the Hilton’s Veranda restaurant as we celebrated Jo’s 82nd birthday (26th).

As we arrived home after lunch, Rich felt poorly and exhibited symptoms of hyperglycemia. He had to lie down and sleep for the rest of afternoon, and with some coffee was fine by suppertime. Did two tollhouse cookies put him over the top? We just don’t know.

“I don't think the Palin problem is fixable. She is who she is: an unqualified fundamentalist liar with no knowledge of or experience in national domestic or foreign policy. And McCain had absolutely no idea who she was when he picked her.” Atlantic Magazine writer-
commentator (conservative, Roman Catholic) Andrew Sullivan (26th)

within River Bridge – on the way home from church (27th)

With welcome rain arriving, we picked up Herb and drove to Margot’s home for supper and conversation. (Her husband was away on a 2-week concert engagement.) A homemade meatloaf meal and dessert were excellent! Looking out the dining area’s French doors to Margot’s tastefully lighted garden was right out of a home and garden magazine. A lovely evening – concluding with heavy rains.

Not so subtle warnings about lowering expectations were surfacing (29th) with regard to Governor Palin's public statements in advance of the one debate between both vice-presidential candidates. Why on earth should we be cautioned as if this were an acceptable caveat?

Yet, hasn't this become a national goal about many people, including children during their most formative years? To be sure, in some situations unreasonable standards of excellence can be imposed, criteria that lack any degree of fairness, given particular circumstances.

However, candidates who want to attend Harvard on full scholarship must be encouraged to excel, because less than excellent expectations will lead to certain failure. One would think that the offices of president and vice president of the United States would require candidates with rigorously scrutinized summa cum laude records permeating their track records. Lowering our expectations so that mediocre individuals can be accommodated as viable candidates for settings requiring excellence is self-defeating as well as absurd.

In the afternoon (29th) the nation's House of Representatives could not deliver excellence in its financial leadership of the nation. One commentator (MSNBC) said "Washington is broken." Individual and corporate greed - plus encouraged, unbridled capitalism - has wreaked havoc, and the nation's leadership does not know how to provide effective remediation. The House does not have the courage to point to the acquired American value of rampant greed as an underlying factor.

At the very same time, our monthly notices of our pension deposits arrived via mail; social security deposits arrived last week. Our conservative investments are safe, and we have no mortgage on our home. Are we wealthy? No! But, we have always lived within our means, including our ownership of residences we could truly afford – even if one of us were to become the sole supporter. We trust that if we had children, we would have lived correspondingly. Yes, we're tooting our own horn! Speaking of which ----

ROSH HASHANAH began at sundown (29th), and our Jewish flag was hung outside. The next day provided Congress with a breather to see whether its members could get their act together. Rich hadn't had a chest x-ray for a few years, so our primary care medical staff, always trying to be helpful, had prescribed one – taken in the holy day's morning (30th).

While decently paced, September was eventful. So often, a month closes with prospects of a quieter next four-week period.

OCTOBER

The month began eventfully, first with the following e-mail having arrived by the time Rich turned on the computer around 4 a.m.:

-----Original Message-----
From: "Google Alerts"
Sent: Wednesday, October 1, 2008 12:15am
To: canon@rtnolan.com
Subject: Google Alert - nolan pingpank
Question asks to restrict marriage
Palm Beach Post - FL, United States
Nolan and Pingpank were the first to register for the domestic partnership West Palm Beach offered in 2005 and, a year later, the first the county ...
The link connected with an article also in the printed edition.

We were to have lunch with Trish (1st) and Carl (2nd), but about 10:30 a.m., Rich began to feel bloated, a likely sign that a stomach event is developing. Bob called both friends and postponed lunch. Within an hour his stomach gave way to the pain. The glucose blood test was also very high. By 4, the painful part of the cycle was over with. Rich was able to eat a bit, but the hangover lasted for 3 days.
 

Via e-mail, we asked a psychologist friend (well grounded in the related sciences) whether a scientific check of our DNA samples might yield any useful information regarding the terrific "chemistry" between us and of its possible benefit to others. The superb reply (leaving out the psychologist's references to his/her own circumstances) follows.

I have put some thought into your idea that DNA may be somehow related to the longevity of both the commitment and passion in your relationship. I am sure that keeping some kind of permanent sample of your DNA is not a bad idea, though I wonder if some genetic markers for you that explain why you have a great relationship, if those markers exist, are going to transfer to the population as a whole. I mean, you are gay...

Personally, I think that the struggle for identity has been a big part of your doing so well. As I have mentioned before, you have had to work together, you have had to define roles for yourselves together. Also, how much of this kind of relationship is genetic, and how much is psychological due to upbringing and social values of the 50s? Also, I do not think that your relationship can be reduced to genes and chromosomes. Really, there is something so much more.

There is a certain amount of luck involved. Also, being gay, though I may have said it tongue-in-cheekily earlier, is central. There are some biological differences between a gay and straight relationship. Yeah, I know that was a trite and pretty obvious statement. But it certainly has some influence. And longevity is nothing without joy. Can genes show us that which gives us joy?

Bob’s routine primary care appointment (6th) with our MD went very well, despite the familiar wait. Now and then (because of waiting delays) we give thought to making a change in our primary care, but the bottom line is that our basic health care there is very good.

At last we were able (7th) to have lunch with friend Trish at the John Bull Pub!

As contemporary clergy desperately seek relevance, it is only a matter of time before the “fist bump” is encouraged at the liturgical passing of the Peace. Simultaneously the youth (and some men in the midst of their middle-age “crisis”) will probably show up for worship with their pants worn so low that their underwear is displayed.

Rich’s morning (9th) glucose blood test was excellent (for him), at long last!

Mori moved to a different hair salon that hides in the rear-center of the above picture, which shows only a third of this women’s cosmetic products store. After our haircuts we headed for an Olive Garden luncheon.

Soon after supper (9th), it happened again. The stomach pain cycle started up, but this time seemed to radiate a bit upwards. Unsure whether Rich’s heart was affected this time, and with vicious pain taking hold, Bob called 911. Rich was off to the hospital and was soon given pain medication which, as before, provided full relief. Hospital routine in place, Rich insisted that Bob leave; he arrived home 3 a.m., and Rich was taken to a private room about the same time.

Test after test yielded nothing definitive, identical to the last hospitalization in 2006. Rich was discharged during the afternoon of the 11th. This type of episode is not only extremely painful, but also very frightening for both of us. A follow-up with Rich’s gastroenterologist was next on the medical agenda. One young gastroenterologist from the practice suggested the possibility of a random twisting of the intestine in the vicinity of the 2006 stomach-intestinal surgery.

The hospital bill was $30,338.39; ambulance $472.75.

During this short period of time we learned of the deaths of a friend’s distinguished father Coy E. (93) and of an acquaintance Frank D. (80) partnered for 52 years. For us, each death has its own unique meaning. Nonetheless, all are sobering; now “elderly,” we are challenged to prevent its reality from clouding whatever time we have left here together. Platitudes are inconsequential.

PEASANT/DISNEY RELIGION: “MANY WATERS” from The Church Times October 10

“The Revd Christian Mondor offers a prayer during a service for the blessing of the waves in Huntingdon Beach, California, on Sunday. Surfers prayed to God, ‘the Big Kahuna’, for a good swell.”
 

Connecticut’s Supreme Court legalized (10th) same-sex marriage. This will affect our visit to Trinity College (Hartford) for our 50th Class Reunion in June of 2009!

"Interpreting our state constitutional provisions in accordance with firmly established equal protection principles leads inevitably to the conclusion that gay persons are entitled to marry the otherwise qualified same sex partner of their choice," wrote Connecticut Supreme Court Justice Richard N Palmer in the majority opinion, according to the Associated Press. The ruling goes into effect soon after October 28.

The religious right-wingers are panicked! Like Massachusetts, Connecticut is heavily Roman Catholic, but more than ever, the rank and file population is becoming accepting, or tolerant, of same-sex marriage. Less and less do the Churches control their members’ minds on this and most other issues. “Fifty-three percent of Connecticut residents support Friday's historic ruling by the state Supreme Court that legalizes gay marriage, while 42 percent of residents polled said they do not.”- Hartford Courant

Certainly, these developments have occurred without any involvements on our part. In our own minds, as incrementalists by disposition, we have focused on issues of equivalencies and not until we retired to Florida. However, our profound thanks to those who have persisted – and continue to fight for – same-sex marriage! Our memberships in LambdaLegal, the Palm Beach County Human Rights Council, the Human Rights Campaign, Integrity, and Compass allow us to participate indirectly.

In a form email Rich received (12th) a request to submit a sermon(s) to SermonWriter: Resources for Lectionary Preaching (in which he maintains an annual membership) that might help congregations and the parish priests who serve them when impacted by natural disasters. The editor indicated that he would be happy to post sermons that would help people who are trying to cope with a disaster -- to include natural disasters, terrorism, crime, accidents, etc. Furthermore, he would welcome sermons that would help congregations who have not been affected personally, but need to understand what they can do to help those who have been affected. An honorarium would be paid for each sermon. Rich took a quick look through his past sermons and submitted links to two:
http://www.philosophy-religion.org/reflections/proper18b-2006.htm Stronger At The Broken Places and http://www.philosophy-religion.org/reflections/proper28b.htm Worst of Times?

Four hours after their submission, Rich received an email noting their acceptance and that, despite his attempt to decline the honorarium, the stipend was essential along with a release form to be signed. A pleasant conclusion to the weekend!

While checking some material on Islam via Google, Rich was surprised to find a 2002 review of his 2001 “A Concise Introduction to Islam.” (Link may open one or two additional, cautionary links before arriving at the review.)
“Nolan’s article is arguably the most prolific account of Islam found in the Liberal Protestant media since September 11, and it demonstrates a fairness and accuracy in describing Islamic belief that has not been visible in the work of other denominations.” Written by a Muslim, the remarks are very gratifying! Rarely does any feedback (good or bad) come our way on anything we write or do.

Our absentee ballots were mailed (14th) at the main West Palm Beach post office. However, voting in Florida has become very iffy – especially in our Palm Beach County. The current Supervisor of Elections seems to have been a letdown with remaining voting problems suspected; he has announced that he is very ill with debilitating but treatable cancer, and will not resign. Actually, a more efficient staff member has been put in charge. Still, we have gladly voted, but not with ordinary confidence that our votes will be counted.

The New Haven Register reported (14th) Bishop Andrew D. Smith, leader of the Episcopal Diocese of Connecticut, said priests in the diocese could not perform same-sex weddings because marriage is defined in the Book of Common Prayer as “a solemn and public covenant between a man and a woman in the presence of God.”

“For us to change that practice in terms of having clergy officiate at gay or lesbian marriages, we have to change the prayer book,” which is authoritative for Episcopalians, Smith said. It cannot be changed without the approval of two national conventions.

Smith has allowed priests to bless civil unions if the parish’s vestry, its governing board, approves, but said he was not ready to take a position on whether marriages between gays or lesbians could also be blessed.

So what! Most people, including Episcopalians such as ourselves, would be pleased to be married by a minister of the United Church of Christ or another Protestant denomination, or a Justice of the Peace. Our world is much larger than the Episcopal or any other Church.

As Bob observed years ago, October 15th ushers in moderating temperatures in our locale. At 1 p.m. the temperature was 82, and the lower 70s for the coming night. Between this date and late May, the Florida weather is what many of us live here for. Our porch is usable, and the outdoors becomes an extension of our house.

During the late afternoon Ann brought some still warm “upside down pear cake.” Delicious! And, the next day, homemade pea soup! Also, scrumptious!

Bob heard a TV news analyst comment about Palin, “She’s campaigning against smart!”

Especially after a health episode requiring hospitalization, we experience so many emotions – one being enormous relief that we’re together again; for example, our evenings most often spent snuggling while watching TV or a DVD are precious to us. Also, a touch of apprehension sets in as the reality of our mortality flashes - like an unwelcome, ominous billboard along an otherwise lovely scenic drive. Again we are reminded of the ordinary flow of our days, which always include a passing touch or a hug and kiss, the inevitable laughter as we share all sorts of silliness, a discussion of something read or watched on TV, etc. Being separated feels totally abnormal and a major deprivation. Surroundings other than our home cannot match the totally relaxed, positive atmosphere in which we live.

We realize that throughout these newsy, annual letters there may seem to be an emotional neutrality. Yet, that is so unlike our life together. Everything we do, whether at home or outside, is within the heartfelt milieu of our every moment. Neither of us is a poet; neither of us has any experience putting our feelings into words that can convey our emotions to others. Perhaps we should have an “affection editor” for that purpose! ☺

After lunch (16th) at “Ruby Tuesdays” in the Wellington Mall, we took our first brief look at men’s marriage rings. Although we might want commemorative bands next June, depending on how our college reunion plans evolve, we would not be newlyweds with a lifetime ahead of us. We were bowled over at the costs of simple, unadorned, men’s rings at a fine jewelry store in the mall. Neither of us is at all inclined to incur such an expense. We decided that there would be further explorations in the spring. Is Woolworth’s or Kresge’s still in business?
 

From the Palm Beach Post (17th): Saturday, October 18, St. Andrew's Episcopal Church, 100 North Palmway, Lake Worth
6 to 6:25 P.M. Evening Prayer, Communion from the Reserved Sacrament, and the (optional) Laying-On-Of-Hands in the parish hall: 6:30 to 7:30 P.M. Saint Andrew's monthly Forum Topic: "THE PRAYER BOOK CREEDS" with Canon Richard T. Nolan
What are the three Creeds? When and where did they originate? What roles do they have today among Christians? Are they infallible? What If You Disagree With Their Contents?

After lunch (17th) with Scott (Executive Director, Compass) and Julie (Capital Campaign Manager, Compass); we explored possibilities of Rich offering a monthly philosophy/ethics forum at Compass. We left it in their hands to formulate topics and p.r. statements. We also discussed the need for insisting on documented, “certifying” backgrounds for volunteers; too many organizations welcome unqualified volunteers, in terms of some volunteers’ excessive neediness and mere assertions that they know their topics well. We also chatted about the need to transform Rich’s regional reputation from clergy (“Canon”) to secular scholar (“Dr.”) for the sake of public credibility. The perception of clergy abilities to teach any subject impartially is virtually non-existent.

A pleasant afternoon followed, but after supper (which Rich skipped) he was unexplainably visited (around 8 p.m.) with uncontrollable chills and a slight temperature. Bob placed an afghan over him and lay down closely beside him to provide more warmth. The chills past in about twenty minutes, and Rich then slept until 11. Bob was still up and about, in order to check on Rich, who had a late snack with his delayed supper medications.

Rich then slept (18th) until 6:30 a.m. (late for him), felt great, and had a good blood glucose test. The only thing we could think of as an explanation of the chills was the flu shot he had the week before in the hospital, but we just do not know.

At the conclusion of the church forum (18th), Rich announced that there would be no November forum, but just a service led by one of the other clergy. (He deliberately did not mention that a major conflicting parish social fundraiser was scheduled at a parishioner’s home – which was a surprise to us. An oversight.)

As the vestry had been told a month earlier at his request, Rich mentioned to the forum participants that it was possible that he would be entering involuntary full retirement as of January 1, 2009. He assured them that this was not a problem with his St. Andrew’s ministry or a falling out of any sort, but that the Diocese of Connecticut announced by form letter in April that all clergy canonically resident there must complete another all-day “Safe Church Practices” workshop – regardless of where they were living.

As a good-faith attempt to comply partially, Rich completed an online workshop (link may connect with another link to open the document); Fr. Paul and Archdeacon Tom wrote to the CT Bishop (as had Rich last spring) explaining that no such workshop, or anything comparable, is being offered in the Diocese of Southeast Florida; Fr. Rasmus and the archdeacon offered to supplement the online workshop with tutorials or whatever. Rich never had a reply to his own e-mailed letter, and as of the October forum’s date, there had been no resolution provided from CT via the rector or archdeacon.

Rich’s attitude reflects our own priorities, which include staying as well as possible and enjoying this period of time together. Although this means of “forced retirement” lacks any grace whatsoever, he was very accepting of the prospects of not serving as a priest, effective January 1st; he has never been addicted to the role. It just seemed so ironic that his unpaid ordained service to St. Andrew’s (which recently has amounted to two Saturdays per month for not more than three hours per day) was closing down for nothing personal, but just a bureaucratic insensitivity. One is reminded too often that the Church is not the Kingdom of God and that one would be foolish to trust the organization too much.

At least Rich did his part to squelch any rumor of conflict between himself and anyone in this diocese or at St. Andrew’s as a factor in his full retirement – although forum participants found the situation with the Diocese of Connecticut bizarre – as do we.

Who knows, though?! Perhaps by the end of December, CT will respond, maybe favorably.

Anyway, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven...”

Not only did Sunday (19th) give us the first morning we could open up the house to cool, dry temperatures, but also the highly respected Republican General Colin Powell eloquently endorsed Senator Obama on Meet The Press! The General’s inspirational comments about the Republican candidates were generous – even charitable – yet on target about the “narrowing” of the Republican Party in recent decades.

However, by 11 a.m. Rich detected that fullness in his stomach/intestinal area again. He could not believe that it was happening again. By 1 p.m., it was clear that this was not just a little ordinary bloating, and he took a heavier-than-normal dose of pain medication. The pain was in place by about 2, but so were the effects of the pain medication. He again endured a manageable level of distress. Strangely, despite the pain and thanks to the medication, he fell asleep around 5, and when he awoke about 6, the pain was gone! After a snack and supper meds, we watched TV for a short time; Rich went to bed, had a great night’s sleep, and awoke feeling excellent early Monday morning (20th); that sense of wellbeing continued for the whole day.

Keeping an eye on the well-being of one’s partner, especially during his/her unwell times, could be experienced as nagging, bossiness, and/or controlling – all irritants. However, Rich experiences such watchfulness on Bob’s part as welcome acts of love. Each such occasion is like a hug.

After postponements related to Rich’s “health happenings,” we finally hosted (23rd) Carl H. for a retirement luncheon at the Hilton Veranda restaurant. The three of us had a delightful time! We chatted quite a bit about the many adjustments one faces when one’s retirement chapter begins. (After lunch picture below)

Seated at 2 or 3 nearby tables was a gathering of Anglican-looking clergy with a few laymen. At the buffet serving table Rich struck up a brief conversation with one of them and discovered that they were top officials of the Anglican Catholic Church, a small, 1977 breakaway denomination. Rich identified himself as a “retired Episcopal canon” and traded pleasantries – while puzzled about the Church unfamiliar to him. He was struck by the all-male group of about 20, their seeming solemnity at their tables (Episcopal clergy would be cheery), and he was unexpectedly saddened by their inability as individuals to find a niche within the Episcopal Church – even as laymen. He found an interesting article on “Continuing Anglican Churches” that lists about 20 such denominations.

We “celebrated” for a moment at 11 a.m. on Sunday (26th), because Rich lived for an entire week without any stomach/intestinal symptoms! The only change in his diet had been consistently modest portions. His post-hospital weight was way down to 139; he was only 142 on the 26th - certainly not an excessive gain. Normally his weight ranges between 145 and 147 – lower than his tubbier years that reached 160.

Rich wondered how freeing it would feel to be removed (“deposed”) willingly from the ordained ministry and return to their origins (with a request that they be voided) all certificates (except his baptismal certificate), diplomas, degrees, awards, memberships, and the like! At times each of these affiliations can be trying for a variety of reasons. After all, if we enter a “next life” (in a Christian sense), none of these items will tag along. Each may be functional or decorative while we are here, but we shall travel utterly naked to whatever is next. Why not jettison them now and have an unencumbered period of time before we go - with just one’s baptismal name and its implications? All Rich truly needs at this point, he claims, is his name and his relationship with Bob for as long as possible!

Overnight (26th-27th) Bob experienced the chills for a few minutes – identical to Rich’s longer episode of ten days earlier. In any case, Bob’s appointment (27th) with his urologist was excellent. Surprisingly, the doctor (usually very efficient with his time) mentioned that he saw our picture in the POST and sincerely lamented the legal limitations with which we live – even with the County’s domestic partner certification.

Just before lunch (27th) Rich sensed a shakiness that hadn’t been around for months! The “jiggles” is a sign of low blood sugar, so he tested himself quickly – and it was 87 – which for him is very low and the onset point of a hypoglycemic episode. Lunch remedied that, and we actually welcomed the low score. For months it has been on the high side.