Saint Andrew’s Episcopal Church
Lake Worth, Florida

This regular Wednesday morning Service coincides with the actual date of the 40^th anniversary of my ordination as a priest. I want to thank Fr. Hamilton for permitting me to be here on this milestone day. Further, I am grateful to our organist Norman Conaway for using the same hymns that were used at my ordination.

When I was in the third grade at a suburban Boston elementary school administered by the (Roman Catholic) Dominican Sisters of St. Catharine, Kentucky, a Dominican priest visited. We were told that he served as both a teacher and priest. A light went on, and the priest-teacher example was paramount in my feeling drawn toward ordained ministry.

Concurrently I was attending the Episcopal Church where I was baptized. During those formative years, my rector and a number of other Episcopal clergy and academics represented one of the best versions of Christianity focusing on Easter rather than Good Friday, on joy accommodating sorrow, and on agreeing to differ within broad Anglican boundaries. It was a healthy-minded religion. I experienced, even took for granted, their styles of leadership in exemplary worship, education, pastoral care, and church administration.

Mom and Dad were supportive, though not enthusiastic that ordained ministry was among my vocational goals. Especially Dad felt that I was “settling for less,” that the life of a businessman, doctor, or lawyer would be better options. Be that as it may, in their marriage I saw a wonderful relationship. Roman Catholic Dad and Episcopal Mom, both worshipers, lived a basic, positive Christianity that transcended any Church’s irrational obsessions and carping. Bob’s Episcopal parents were the same. Furthermore, and so very important, in my parents’ life together and in Bob’s parents’ life as well, family came first. It has been natural for us generally to put ourselves as a family FIRST – not our vocational responsibilities.

It was a long road to ready myself for what was gelling. I learned many years later that my psychological profile calls for a “composite career.” My preparation to serve as a parish priest took four college and three seminary years. Even after ordination, to function as a college professor there were two more years for advanced studies in philosophy and religion, another year of course work plus language studies toward a doctorate, and finally the dissertation – which takes the equivalent of a year to prepare. Mom and Dad saw me through the first year of seminary, and – except for a couple of modest scholarships – I paid for the rest from my varied earnings.

While teaching fulltime, I was invited to supply or assist in many parishes and urban cathedral settings. For 14 wonderful years, I served as part-time pastor of rural St. Paul’s Parish (Bantam) in northwestern Connecticut. I retired from fulltime teaching in a special program made available by the State of Connecticut when I was 55, but I continued to teach and write at a part-time, leisurely pace. Now, I am with you, undoubtedly my last parish stop. Processing along this blended path, I have felt very fulfilled vocationally.

The Ordination rites in the 1928 Prayer Book – with which I was ordained - were beautifully expressed, as they are (though less eloquently) in the current 1979 edition. Our fundamental “job descriptions” as deacons, priests, and bishops permeate the rites. Additionally, we have national and diocesan canons, which add clarification to many of our duties. In my 40 years as a priest (and two as a deacon), I have had no quarrel with what I have been ordained to do, however imperfectly carried out. I am as committed to these responsibilities today as I was then.

However, and here’s the rub, the practice of ordained ministry, especially in parish settings, has changed significantly during these past four decades. Let me mention just a few developments. (Others are printed below the line for your later consideration.)

■ In 1965 I experienced the early years of the ongoing decline in the authority and credibility of organized religion, especially among mainline Churches such as our own. ■ The current cycle of an arrogant, aggressive, radical, right-wing Christianity that has found such an influential place in the shaping of public policy is worrisome. Though the ebb and flow of religious fervor is not new to American history, as we learn from the passage and subsequent repeal of Prohibition in the early 1900s, fundamentalism has been around before, and its effects can be minimized in the next cycle. Other than being faithful to our enlightened Anglican tradition, I would not know how to respond and serve constructively. ■ In recent years the word “Christian” has been hijacked by the radicals and has become an off-putting label. Never before the current era would I feel obligated to say, “Yes, I am a Christian, but here is what I mean ……….”

On the bright side, wisdom is replacing ignorance and deception with regard to gender issues in both church and state. Much has been accomplished; much remains to be done!  

Do I feel successful with these forty years of ordained service as a priest? Years ago, a retired Bishop of Connecticut said that we are successful as clergy to the extent that we touch some other people’s lives and allow them to touch ours. In this sense, yes, I feel content and successful in my priestly role. (I must add parenthetically that a “priest” is not who I am, but a sacred Order in which I participate and which I highly respect.)

Would I do it all over again today? Certainly, my composite career as priest-teacher-writer has matched my psychological wiring! The Prayer Book and Canonical responsibilities remain ever inviting. Nevertheless, I am not sure how “marketable” I would be nowadays. Today there are far fewer teaching positions for me that would provide a reliable income. In the current religious climate, I would not choose a substantial position in a congregation, because I am clueless as to how to minister faithfully and effectively in the context of the twenty-first century. My few hours of voluntary service here on Saturday nights have no novel strategy, no membership goals, no financial demands, no “mission statement” to add to the Prayer Book’s own, and so on. I am grateful to Fr. Hamilton and the vestry for permitting and encouraging this “loose canon’s” old-fashioned, liturgical and educational ministry. Without a doubt, I would rather withdraw altogether than demean this great heritage with trendy gimmicks of the moment being hyped by so-called evangelicals. That would be like asking a responsible nutritionist to serve cheap fast-food.

Regardless of what I would choose to do, if I were restarting these days, the one constant would be the primacy of my family life with Bob and our baptismal foundations – major sources of strength for whatever I have done or would ever do over. For this and the possible nudging and enabling by the Holy Spirit in all facets of my life, I give continual thanks.

Thank you so much for sharing in this morning’s “sentimental journey!”

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NOT INCLUDED IN THE SPOKEN VERSION FOR THE SAKE OF BREVITY

At the local level and beyond, church-related fellowship opportunities are in keen competition with school, club and support groups. ■ Technologically enriched religious “entertainment” competes with traditional forms of liturgy and religious education. ■ Self-anointed gurus have increased in popularity rather than solid pastoral care. ■ Vague, individualistic spiritualities have become preferable to commitment within a faith community. ■ Years ago we clergy were trusted to do our work; in recent years there have been so many serious missteps that personal and professional accountability among clergy is needed, and we have only touched the surface on how to hold ourselves answerable. ■ The Church continues to be a terrible employer and, as many clergy joke, “eats its own.” ■ The rise of acceptable irrationality and elitism among spiritual enrichment groups too often ends up in the blurring of appropriate personal boundaries. The mind has been set aside for an undisciplined heart. ■ Peasant religion continues to develop and flourish; I am grateful to have escaped ever having been asked to bless a St. Joseph statue destined to an upside down grave on behalf of a property owner hoping to sell! ■ Money is in alarmingly short supply to adequately fund a higher percentage of existing, traditional, moderate congregations; to be haunted by financial desperation diminishes our focus on what we are ordained to do. ■ Clergy well-being continues to be problematic as more demanding parishioners take special delight in “owning” their clergy, sometimes as their own private chaplains. Furthermore, clergy family life continues to be willingly surrendered too often to an exaggerated sense of self-importance. ■ “Successful” clergy are measured by current secular, quantitative standards – a terrible mistake. ■ More than ever, permissive parents haul their undisciplined, noisy kids into worship, thereby transforming worship into an unwanted nursery that alienates many adults who arrived for another purpose. ■ The willingness of political and religious leaders to deceive for their own advantage has replaced mere spin tactics. ■ The Anglican Communion is under attack from within; relative newcomers to the Communion steeped in an uninformed biblical literalism by superficial missionary work has yielded viciousness from much of the Global South unable to agree to differ. They bear little resemblance to classical Anglicanism of the Church of England. I do not know what has to be done in response to hysterical, demanding ultra-conservatives – even the few within this and other United States dioceses. ■ Most of these negative, new-to-me circumstances require insights and skills that I do not have.