DICK and BOB’S INTRODUCTION
In the 1980s the late Miriam Anne Bourne completed a draft of a rather
controversial book for those days entitled Listening: A Skeptical Woman Hears A Gay
Priest Tell His Story. The quasi-biographical account of Richard T. Nolan
and Robert C. Pingpank was rejected by church-related publishing houses as too
hot to handle and by mainstream editors as too ordinary. No HIV? No scandals? No
tantrums or other factors that would sell? Mimi was already a successful author, but
our story seemed to have no potential market.
Tragically, Mimi died of cancer during the summer of 1989 before the
final manuscript was created. Earlier that year, she had been encouraged and
gratified by a Church’s national sexuality committee that used a portion of the
manuscript as a “case study.” From 1968 through 1988 Mimi had written twenty
children’s and adult books published by Norton, Follett, Doubleday, Harper,
Arbor House, Random House, Troll (children’s books), and Coward, McAnn, &
Geoghegan. It was a privilege to work with her so closely during the
manuscript’s preparation.
As we head toward our 50th anniversary on September 14, 2005,
it seems fitting that Mimi’s efforts should provide the basis of an online
addition to our Scrapbook at www.nolan-pingpank.com/. The Scrapbook itself is a
source of many pictures of people and places referred to in our
text.
In 2001 Dick had a mild heart attack, and we are more aware of our
mortality than ever before. Results of his 2003 stress test were somewhat
problematic. With his academic work
recently completed, he has a new sense of “It is finished” in that vocational
portion of his life. The timing feels right for us to revise and update our
story.
Mimi approached our story more topically than sequentially. Many hours of
our conversations were tape-recorded, and she chose areas of interest. The text
jumps around chronologically, and, frankly, we have deleted material from her
manuscript that might be awkward for some named people as well as unnamed or
“renamed” individuals who might be recognizable, and, for them, unhappily so.
Moreover, many of her 1980s reflective commentaries are not germane to the new
millennium.
“Will it be the truth?” asked a friend. Our account is admittedly selective. Every thought and event are not indispensable to introduce two men and their relationship reliably. The quality of our life together is the point. Continuing Mimi’s guidelines, the names of some friends and acquaintances have been changed. For anyone
5
looking
for titillating narratives, stop now; our purposes reject that
element.
A journalist once asked, “Have either of you ever engaged in sexual
activities outside of your relationship?” Our answer remains the same. “In an
interview about their long life together, would you ask an older, straight,
married couple that sort of question?” Point made. Each person has his/her own
sense of what constitutes irrelevant and intrusive questions and topics.
Although some inquirers gladly cross customary lines, there is no obligation to
welcome interrogators into every corner of one’s life, regardless of what has or
has not occurred. Nonetheless, some folks will read into a relationship whatever
they need to.
Even so, our version is truthful and complete, sufficiently so to share with others that a wonderful, mainstream life was, and is, possible for two gay men, even for a couple born three days apart in 1937, two who are best described as “soul mates.”
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Biography - Bourne, Miriam Anne (1931-1989)
This digital document, covering the life and work of Miriam Anne Bourne, is an entry from Contemporary Authors, a reference volume published by Thomson Gale. The length of the entry is 623 words. The page length listed above is based on a typical 300-word page. Although the exact content of each entry from this volume can vary, typical entries include the following information:
Family: Born March 4, 1931, in Buffalo, NY; died of cancer, June 21, 1989, in Castine, ME; daughter of Herbert M. (an insurance man) and Caroline (Walker) Young; married Russell Bourne (an editor), August 22, 1953; children: Sarah Perkins, Jonathan, Louise Taber, Andrew Russell. Education: Wheelock College, graduate, 1953. Memberships: Washington Children's Book Guild.
Writer. Owner/proprietor of The Children's Bookshop (a mail-order business), 1974-79; part-time instructor for Institute of Children's Literature, Redding Ridge, CT, 1982-89.
WRITINGS BY THE AUTHOR: Juveniles, except as indicated:
Also author of 1984 Day Book: Excerpts from Women's Writings, for Bo-Tree.
"Sidelights" An educator, editor, and author, Miriam Anne Bourne was a respected consultant on early learning materials. She wrote more than a dozen books for children during a writing career that spanned two decades.
Bourne told CA: "When I was growing up, my parents read everything I wrote and told me they liked it--which kept me writing, of course. More demanding but supportive teachers in upstate New York, Mid-Western, and Philadelphia schools I attended helped me sharpen [my] skills.
"Summers were spent in the small town on the Maine coast where my mother's family had lived since the 1760s. Every winter for English assignments I wrote about the people in that town, lovingly recreating them, as if they were fictional characters in a life-long book. That town still nourishes me and offers writing ideas.
"Adult years have been spent in Connecticut and Washington, DC. Washington provided a wealth of writing ideas, especially for books about the families of public figures. First Family explores the interrelationship between George Washington's private and public life through family correspondence. Here in New England the thoughts and experiences of my foremothers intrigue me."
While living in Connecticut in the mid-1970s, Bourne owned and operated a mail-order business called The Children's Bookshop. She later taught at the Institute of Children's Literature. Among her children's books are Emilio's Summer Day, Four-Ring Three, and Bright Lights to See By. Bourne also edited a women's history project for the Episcopal church.
PERIODICALS
Citation Details
Publisher:
Thomson Gale |
Contemporary
Authors - January 1, 2004
MIMI’S LATE
1980s INTRODUCTION
It had entered my mind that he was homosexual; two close men sharing -
even a two-family house - are often suspect. Still, it came as a shock... in 1985 we
had been talking about discrimination against women.
"I can relate
to that," Dick said. He
paused. "I'm going to tell you
something, Mimi, that I think you'll be able to handle. For thirty years Bob has been my
lover."
Lover. The word
startled me as much as the idea. "Partners" a daughter has taught me is the
designation for the man with whom she shares her life, but it seems too
businesslike for someone as dear as a husband.
Lover. A naughty concept...an old-fashioned
term from a book forbidden to children.
What else could you say?
"We're a
family," Dick went on, "with real family values. If anything should happen to either of
us, the survivor would need to be comforted."
Thirty years. Almost as long as I've been married.
****
Would our
friendship be different, I wondered, now that Dick has told me, now that I've
told my husband?
No. We still exchange books, disagree about
politics (Dick is far more conservative than I), agree about religion. Trust usually deepens
friendship.
But I have a lot of questions and doubts, and Dick wants to respond to them. Perhaps they're your doubts
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and questions,
too. What makes a man or woman
homosexual? What's it like to lead
a secret life? Did his parents
know? What exactly does he mean by
"family" and "family values?" Is he trying to tell me his relationship with Bob
is as satisfying as a man's can be with a woman? Doesn't his sexual life conflict with
the teachings of the Church?
The idea of sex between men makes me squirm, so for years I've ignored it. But homosexuality is front-page and emotional news these days, more television programs have same-sex themes, and it seems irresponsible not to try to understand it.